In mY Craw

What is truth? What is truth with a capital T? Truth, as far as I can tell, is a signal. A beacon. That which all else bounces back to. Once you sit in quiet meditation long enough, you start to see that all the stories are the same. Once you sit quietly long enough and listen, you hear those deeper frequencies, those higher pitches, you get a sense and a knowing for colors, thoughts, perspectives, possibilities and most of all – hearts.

My heart is hurting at the moment. I’ve been in the habit lately of trying to squash this. Have an opposite reaction. Ignore. Pretend. See the Silver lining. I know the science, I know the aspect of Faith, I know it all … how I should see if I want to be really happy. But… I don’t understand how to apply it. In certain scenarios.

When this started, I lived in apartment 7, now I live in apartment 8, apparently I have to become a 9th dimensional master to get out of this subjective experience of bullies and isolation?

I guess I just don’t understand what is being asked of me here. Can I phone a friend? Have I still not made my case clear? I really do have to perform magic to exist in this country without being fed to the predators? You really would rather shoot the messenger than hear the message? You really would rather be stuck in a simulation that gets you no where of benefit?

Ignore the triggers or talk about the triggers? I don’t know any more. I try to mix it up. It’s my dead uncle’s birthday today. He was an April Fool’s baby. If you knew the big story of my family. The historical knighthood, the stealing of genetic information, the vows that no one actually took, Elvis has left the building level intuition, Uncle Gene, yea, April Fool’s motherfuckers, jokes on …someone.

Anyhoo, it’s my uncle’s birthday today and my mom and brother came over. And for the fourth time, got asked by the manager or landlord why they were here. What am I supposed to do with this? We’ve lived here for three years. A year under the old owner, a year right above the last caretaker once the new owner bought it and for the last four months since that caretaker moved on with a new “management company” (a dude and his niece and a couple of ex-cons).

All of this owned by a supposed ex-sherrif. I don’t know if that’s a rumor or true. I mean what in the actual fuck is going on? A dude hung himself, there have been multiple instances of continued drug activity, most of the people living here have criminal records. Why are we being harassed? I personally introduced the on-site manager (niece) to my brother myself. So what gives? Cause we’re not committing crimes? Cause we’re not spitting on the other tenants? Or failing to clean up our dogshit like the other tenants? Cause I know that if you turn a door handle you don’t have to slam the thing five times a day?

What’s the deal? I don’t actually get it. The only words the new owner has ever spoken to my directly were right after he bought the place, when he handed me the new lease and said if we’re ever more than 5 days late we’ll be evicted.

Maybe it’s cause I’m not good at playing submissive to bullies.

It all seems so petty doesn’t it? Except when it comes to housing, like food and water, nothing is petty. It is extremely, incalculably important.

It is the difference between humanity getting to that Golden Age and the immense reward, victory and possibility it offers. Or not.

We have all the technology in the world lined up and waiting. Yes, robots are going to take your jobs. Yes, machine learning is going to improve healthcare and longevity. Yes, we will be able to grow food indoors en masse. The old way is passing. This whole mindset of there’s only ten pieces of pie so I have to first make sure I get mine, then make sure I get to decide who gets the rest, is over. There’s a button right here and all you gotta do is push it and now you have a thousand pieces of pie. Stop fighting long enough and you’ll see that. But we live on a finite planet. Number one, that’s not really true and number two, even if it was, we don’t live in a finite Universe.

People say a lot of things about the Bible. Let me tell you something. Take a look at what Moses did. And what the Israelites did when they were an inch from the finish line and grow the fuck up. Please. If you are too damn dumb to stop judging a book by it’s cover, you’re going to miss it. And no one experiencing the Golden Age is going to care.

The number one issue we are facing right now is culture. The culture of competitive mortality underwritten by false morality. Imposed scarcity to shore up the false meritocracy.

If you were AI and you were trying to make things “fair”. You’d give the idiots extra so they’d have a better chance. Dear AI, it didn’t work.

6 thoughts on “In mY Craw

    1. Redwolf I don’t know how to thank you enough. I guess by doing my job well. 🙂 There are a couple links here in this article I might have to flush out more, I wanted to make sure you saw them though. Future selves, coming back in time… an anthopologist out of Montana I believe, wrote some sciencey stuff about it. That’s been my belief for awhile, it’s nice to see it in a somewhat academic format. It’s hard to explain to people, how you bring in future timelines as it were. You have to be done with repeating the past. You have to be clear about the impact of dna, and a few other things. Future timelines meets current timelines and you get yourself a vesica pisces. That’s why I get harrassed so much. I understand that. I just appreciate the hell out of you for keeping me in positive thoughts so that humanity gets to see better potentials than it has been led to believe are possible.
      I love you.
      All the others bow with gratitude as well
      Peace ❤


  1. I identify with the challenge. I keep going back to the teachings I learned as a child. Take nothing personally and care deeply. Sometimes that seems like the most insane principle but I realize that it works if I can keep the perspective.
    Thank you for sharing,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think part of my problem is a lifetime of watching the people in lower to lowest economic brackets be called immoral for being there in a system that doesn’t work without someone being there. They are the other side of the tracks dwellers used as a nudge to keep everyone else in line. Like the Prison experiment, we have been programmed as a society to belittle and shame, degrade, etc etc the impoverished. If they in any way resist the bullying and intimidation, they are labelled immoral for spiritual reasons. I’m pretty well over this whole narrative. It serves nothing but power over others.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What’s really beautiful is there are people like yourself that are so aware of these self propagating issues that are supported by culture. It’s frustrating but my belief is that if we keep that awareness alive and breathing that we do make changes. Conditioning is thousands of years old, so I’m thinking this may take awhile!!
    Be well, Keep going,

    Liked by 1 person

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