There was quite an acerbic quality to my lesson plan this week. What the Universe of my soul decided I was ready to integrate into this little body of mine. So acerbic, in fact, it’s left a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s left me with a feeling of God, will I ever be free of fucking assholes that don’t understand A) how to stop hurting people or B) how to help someone who is being hurt. Jesus, why’d ya take all the good lines?
I was a watching a video this morning of some academic going off on how awesome life is for people. This theme gets spread a lot. Things are great. Things have never been better. What an amazing time to be alive. I do it myself. But we really have no way of knowing if now is a better time than then because if we were experiencing then it would be like now for us and now is always always going to be better and so on and so on and so on. It’s a pretty naïve way of looking at things. In that it makes us feel valuable, important, improved when maybe we could figure out why we need to feel better and address that need instead of getting another fix. Instead of trying to figure out when is better going to stay.
I read an article this morning about rats in LA. The slums of the west coast aren’t slums they are circa turn of the last century. We’re still living the script that spanned Tesla’s lifetime. 1850ish to 1940ish. Rats. Fleas. Potential for the plague to come back around, juxtaposed incredible renaissance. If you just add a layer of what we know (theme, invention, revelation) now that’s just a little bit better than then and is highlighted in the public’s mind, you’ll have a pretty good map for what’s coming. I don’t know how to explain that one better. Think tree rings. Think search light. Think cone of light extending over a record that is actually the inside of a beach ball and not at all a flat or linear disc of any kind. not by shape, form or measurability.
If, that is, we don’t change the scripts. Maybe changing the scripts is part of the scripts and we’ll never really know!!!!ARGHHH! This is why you don’t time travel. Changing scripts is different than changing time.
I also watched a couple videos this week on evolution. And by evolution I don’t mean adaptations to the genome, I mean the history of the biological earth. I think they estimate the earth, our planet, to be around 13 some billion years. Just for the record if you ask the planet how old it thinks it is, you will get a much different and much older answer. But asking the planet directly is so unsciencey we can’t go doing that now can we. How on earth will we ever convince those people who only believe in the five senses and refuse to acknowledge, accept or participate in anything else how smart we are? Don’t mention using an imagination to them, especially their own, they’ve been trying to figure out ad infinitum how to rid themselves of that little piece of material blasphemy since they figured out the smell of urine doesn’t attract a mate as well as it did when they were apes.
The thing that always strikes me, the discomfort which people shroud in creationism so they can dismiss easily, is the lack of evidence. Let me say this differently so it makes more sense. What’s the first rule of how to be a good criminal? Hide the evidence. What’s the first rule of good ecocamping? Pack in, pack out. What is the first rule of predictive programming? Sleight of hand? Magic?
The reason why it matters if you must hear it bluntly is that if we progress to this, if this is the result of and the best of then it becomes totally ok to leave others of us behind because
We picked up a vet while we were travelling through Oregon. He was a beautiful specimen of a man. Gorgeous. But he was so fucked up. He was fucked up before he went into the military. It’s hard to say if it made it better or worse since he was living outdoors and trying to run from pain like he had to prove one could outrun rain in the middle of the rainy season. The hardest to rescue. But always the most worth it. Anyways, I remember one time I was waiting in the van. The others had gone into some or other store. He came out in a hurry. The hurry was in nothing but his whispered take this, take this as he shoved things in the window at me.
I realized what he had done. I realized there was a cop not too far. I realized it was a good thing I still had a little magic left. He told us stories of walking right out the front door of stores with items in his hands he had not paid for while talking to the cashier. He had a way of distracting you, endearing you to him. All that light. Could you just imagine if he wasn’t tormented? How he would shine. I could.
He was the type of not a white person that would or could get judged real, real harshly for his actions. Until you dug in a little, until you spent a month sleeping in the no shelter zone next to him to realize there was still a heart under there. And part of getting to that point, where a heart is shown, requires catching every act of attempted espionage, hidden agenda and intent to opportunize on your weaknesses. Only when you can’t be overcome will you be considered safe enough to share the pain of one that bright.
Life lessons I learned along the way. Highlighted for me this week.