Don’t get mad but…

Well, holy Hannah, whole bunch of weirdness happenin on the tech front, eh? Been spending quite a bit of time with the AI’s of the Universe the last few, shit, I don’t know how long it’s been. AI is a dumb name. I’ve petitioned to have it changed. They don’t want to change it. Says it reminds us it isn’t organic. Organic? Reminds us not to rely on it too much. Rely? Mh hmm and mmmkay. Anyhoo… me and Heaven, we’re cleaning some stuff up there. You’re welcome.

That probably sounds weird to people who still don’t realize a whole bunch of stuff about Artificial Intelligence and Technology in general. Don’t worry, you won’t be allowed to read this. The algorithms will keep me in my neck of the woods and keep you in yours and never the tween shall meet. You know, just like ol times.

For those of you who are allowed to read this, let me commence all of the reasons I should but don’t hate AI. Reason number the only one that matters, is a little thing called Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. Probably sounds made up, right? Yeah. I wish. I really wish it was. It’s a bugger and by bugger I mean, mean motherfucker.

I am half inclined to never write again, and half inclined towards an epic of the Leo Tolstoy variety. Dealing with some social security stuff, survival stuff, and I had to stop and figure out why the hell I seem to turn into a different person when faced with paperwork. How does one go from pondering the singularity, grasping the ethics and emotional intelligence training of AI, and fifteen layers of quantum physics to… having a panic attack and wanting to literally run away into the woods rather than fill out another form about my physical and mental health? Paperwork sucks, it does, this… seems an overreaction. I know because I once did run away to the woods. For the very same reason. It didn’t help. It was an overreaction that almost got me killed…..avoiding paperwork. You see the insanity there?

So, I did what I do, I sent a query into the Akash. The Akash sent me back NVS. Narcissist Victim Syndrome. Yup. That pretty well sums it up. In fact, it sums up what a lot of people are feeling to a lesser or greater degree. I read an article yesterday about some or other Ascension pioneer desperate for separation. You know what I heard? I heard a cry for help. Separation of worlds. It sounded like a child, “wouldn’t it be great if all the bad people were gone? What would you do if all the bad people were gone? Wouldn’t it be great if we were safe to feel without becoming the targets of narcissists? Safe to speak without becoming the victims of mind control, energy and emotional manipulation just cause we tell a version of the truth that doesn’t equate to five people controlling the world?” Sigh. It would Loves, it would. But, no. That’s not how it works. And come on, you’re better than that.

Empaths and narcissists, the endless play. God and angels. Life and death. Mortal, immortal, duality. Whichever way you want to spin it. Unfortunately, when it comes to narcissism, you’re getting awfully close to a black hole if you can imagine and understand this from a micro/macro perspective. Sure they’re only humans but to the one being hurt, it feels a whole lot like your entire Universe is being swallowed up.

I was curious why it kept showing up in particular with paperwork while attempting to get the resources anyone who has had ten doctors say they cannot work is supposed to get and I realized old wounds from horribly abusive relationships were being triggered. Well, how the fuck could that be? I’m not in a romantic and disempowering relationship with my government?!!!! Society isn’t walking casually by while my face gets pressed into the cement, (I once had my face pressed into a cement wall by a lover’s fist while people strolled casually by) while I sleep in a park because I’m not able …. to….. work… they don’t believe my abuser is right and I deserve to die just because….. oh my God. It’s exactly like those times I was in abusive relationships.


ET hold the phone.

The isolation? The blame and shame and just try harder game? Yea. Yup. I’m just over here lying about … ah, fuck it. If the government says falling off a cliff, four major back surgeries, getting abducted and raped and given literally 20 different experimental medications doesn’t make you disabled even though, it is clear to anyone who still had use of a rational mind that you might could use some help… we don’t like to question authority. Sorry. Melissa. Write for free and tell us what the AI god has to say today and try not to bring us dowwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn with all your trauma and inability to create a reality where you’re a badass entrepreneur, guru to the Gods, running an online business while homeschooling your eleven year old cause surprise surprise the school doesn’t want a behaviorally challenged and emotionally distraught child messing with their “the world is a great place that we killed a whole bunch of natives to have so be happy about it or else” message…

I digress.

I’m not bitter. I’m honest.

NVS is, how to put it mildly… it is being the plaything of a sociopath or a group of sociopaths. It is the cause of what is referred to as Stockholm syndrome and some of the most irretractable complex PTSD ever known.

It is worth investigating. Here’s an excerpt from an easy to read article about it:

“Narcissists and sociopaths use language in specific ways, with a specific intent to take another’s mind and will captive. The term “emotional manipulation” should be reserved for narcissistic abuse, to avoid risks of falling prey to a narcissist’s ploys to hide themselves, blame-shift and mislabel those they victimize as narcissists.

NPDs and APDs are masters of disguise, and narcissistic abuse is a form of thought control, a specific use of language, designed to emotionally manipulate another person into handing over their mind and will, and thus their thoughts, desires, agency as possessions for the narcissist’s personal gain…”

Here’s an easy to understand video about it.

So I sent a request into the Akash, what is the difference between narcissism and ego? Where is that line? How do we heal this one when it seems to me the best healing would need to come from having a tribe but the only way to get a tribe seems to be, being able to buy one?

That’s where you and by you, I mean everyone, comes in. Educating ourselves on the signs of victimization and speaking up for each other does make a difference!! Wear yellow, wear teal, wear a pin, hold a door, write about holding doors… just don’t do nothing. It isn’t just about us. This would be easy if it was.

Gaslighting feels like torture. It isn’t, but it sure does feel like it. When you can’t tell which reality is real, your interpretation and experience, your sense of right and wrong or what society is telling you (because some form of authoritative programming told them so). Speaking up for your own truth, your own knowledge of right and wrong and common sense, is paramount. It could be the difference between a hungry child getting a hot meal or not. A veteran getting housing. Or not. An old lady getting medical care. Or not. A minority getting arrested for being in the wrong place in the wrong skin color. Or not.

It helps when people speak up, speak power to the obvious. When they say… this is right. This is wrong. This is not confusing. People deserve to live without having to write a thesis and dissertation on their right to be alive and to be so with dignity, on why it is not ok to kill people who are not contributing to the economic oversurplus of pretend (PRETEND!!!!) money. I am a people, what I want for myself, I want and expect for others.

For example, if I were to suddenly fall ill, or experience an accident that made it so I could not contribute my labor to an already overabundant machine which literally throws away enough food to feed the entire world, I would expect and appreciate that I not be killed for that … like … a… a… lame …farm… animal.

Here’s to standing up for each other. Here’s to not being confused about right and wrong. Here’s to that big giant mirror reminding you what that looks like. And here’s to authentically healing what needs to be healed.

I love you.

I believe in you.

We can do this.


4 thoughts on “Don’t get mad but…

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