We’re in a little bit of a time jump, timeline collapse, a “times they are a’changin” flow. Usually I don’t like to write during these times because I like to breathe, observe, be one with it. So, I’m diverting from my normal choice. Choice. Hmmm. That’s an interesting word.
I’ve changed so much. If I hadn’t recorded so many of these changes, I don’t know if I’d even realize. In my youth, I was one giant ball of suffering. Surrounded by people suffering, not knowing we are all connected, life was often overwhelming and unbearable. I was suffering for me and them, processing massive amounts of emotional and mental data to find my way back to peace and comfort. I am so grateful for the moments of immense peace, love, joy I’d be flooded with from time to time. How would I have ever known it was possible, what centered felt like, how to adjust my field back to that otherwise?
It’s weird being on the ascension path. It’s a strange place to be. Mostly because we’re still developing words to describe experiences related to it. Whatever was done before does not quite complete, detail, what this is. I am grateful for those who share their experiences. We were that and now we’re this. We were this and now we are … moving, indescribable, BEING.
I wonder sometimes if I am doing enough to explain, to share, to increase the opportunity for this massive peace I feel to be felt by others. It wasn’t magic that got me here, though it feels very magical. It is an unfolding miracle I am part and parcel with, paying attention to. I made some changes. I laid down some ground rules for myself. I put in the work so to speak. But never alone, never without support but it isn’t a career, it isn’t a role, it is life expressing, Grace expressing, flow expressing.
I forget sometimes to take care of the worldly things. To ask for help when I need it. To recognize the limitations I have without finding fault with them, without feeling abandoned by my fellow humans, enjoy the spiritual ride for what it is. It’s probably my biggest struggle.
The world outside is loud today. My voice may be too soft to hear. The demands and pressures and to-do lists are playing loudly in the minds of the collective. They are rushing around, rushing, rushing to and fro, to and fro. I like it when they stop and breathe, just breathe, in that space we can hear each other, commune, embrace the peace, feel the love, know what it all means.
I miss them when they’re busy, busy. I miss them because my body doesn’t let me do the busy, busy anymore. So I wait for them to stop the busy, busy so we can be in the same vibe. I still have plenty of life, plenty of life, but this vessel as it is must be maintained, gently, gently nurtured.
I talked with my guides this morning. Should I start a podcast, should I make videos, should I keep working on that business idea? Am I doing enough? The busy, busy and the worry, worry was bleeding through. They showed me my body, showed me the truth of it, asked me to accept assistance and that it just might not be possible for me to expend that much energy and maintain the flow I need to heal, to not let it fall further, to be free of numbing medications so I can be present for the changes, the rewiring, the evolution.
Because it must be. Because that is the greatest gift I can give. To come back from so broken. So broken in body, so broken in mind, so broken in spirit, so broken in finance and career and normal social normality to whole, to health, to free, to strong, to abundance anyway cause I am loved, I am love.
I am here, ascending. I’ll stop believing the world doesn’t know what that means and realize it is made exactly for this. I will share my changes, my insights, my knowing as we go. Until the wind blows us on to greener pastures and we all feel at home.