So…let’s just take this cat all the way out of the bag. I am discouraged. I’ve come face to face with the beast that is marketing and man, is this SOB ugly. I know it’s only been two weeks since the book came out but I hate the idea of marketing so much I’d rather just walk away. It all just seems so fake to me. I knew that going into this but I can’t help but wish more people would wake up and realize change comes when you start making better choices. If we don’t want to be bombarded with commercials constantly, we’re going to have to start actually, literally and thoroughly supporting each other with more than just fluffy and inspirational words.
I’ve only tested the advertising waters a little but I can tell you that I have zero tolerance for the bullshit and emotional manipulation that goes hand in hand with it. If you understood how thoroughly your every move is tracked and every conversation you have is evaluated to target you better, you may never speak again. How to avoid these things but also get my book in front of reader’s faces? I have no idea. No idea whatsoever. No desire to push myself into realms that border on insanity to find out. It is what it is. I am a spiritual person. Buying and selling seems so …NOT spiritual but buying and selling in this targeted manner, is truly repulsive.
Well, there is good news, now that I’ve succeeded in completing this much, if I end up on the street again at least I’ll have a response to the people who like to make the act of staying alive without money a testament to the corruption of the HOMELESS PERSON. If by the Grace of God something more comes of this, I will celebrate that awesomeness but I simply cannot dress up my life story or the atrocious and vicious reality that is homelessness to make 6 bucks, I do not have it in me to play those kinds of games. Have I said, “it is what it is yet”? I know that no matter what happens, I will survive. You can’t find a better teacher than homelessness for that. What plagues me is how many people will not or have already succumbed to death by way of homelessness in this, the wealthiest fucking nation on the planet.
I imagine…at some point in the not so distant future, the state of homelessness will get so bad that people will eventually realize they actually need to give a shit. My book will be waiting for them when they are ready. I have done my job as far as that goes. But trying to convince people to care about something that they so clearly do not, is not within my skill set just yet (but give me time, I am feisty if nothing else). A woman’s march? The woman in me says way to go, way to get together and organize around a cause, but the homeless woman in me can’t help but wonder why this level of outcry has not occurred on behalf of homeless women.
Elderly and disabled women, women who are trying to raise a child alone in this harsh world, are among the fastest growing demographic of people living without shelter. So… that part of me that still remembers what it is like to eat out of a dumpster has to say fuck you, just fuck you and these games you play. March your ass into your local housing authority and ask them what they are doing to increase funding for affordable, transitional or supportive housing. And for all of those on the other side of the marching fence? You want to make your country great? Take care of the citizens who are the most vulnerable. That is the sign of a great country made up of kind-hearted and therefore GREAT people. If your technological innovations, scientific advances or economic advantages are not used to keep every citizen that wants to participate able to do so, then your so-called greatness is moot. But I digress again. I always forget that this world does not work the way my world does. Such is life in America. Live and let die.
Just in case I am the only one who sees the writing on the wall, please prepare financially for what is about to come, I do not believe there is any stopping it at this point, a march sure the fuck isn’t going to do the trick. The more funding that gets cut, the more people with higher education in their background take the jobs of those who could not afford college and what was once a narrowly scraping by lower economic class will now be your next wave of unsheltered people. That is all it takes and that is how fast it happens. You have been warned.
I am discouraged and not very positive and not very inspiring and the world out there is a mad house. I’ll just have to do better tomorrow. Maybe I’ll find a way to be brave and use enough make-up to hide my anger so I can make some videos and promote the very unpopular opinion that homelessness needs to be addressed on Youtube. I’ll try to forget that all of my effort could be wasted no matter what I do as my country goes to hell in a hand basket because karma has finally come knocking. Prove me wrong please and just try your hardest to give a shit about a total stranger that may need a little help putting their life back together.
Christians, I love you, but I have to ask AGAIN where are you on this issue? You must know that you need to do more than feed and clothe people just so they can stay alive to face the same torture tomorrow. Don’t you? What did the Good Samaritan do? Maybe it is time for you to open that Book up and read it yourself if these lessons are not getting through? Love your God with all your heart and mind and soul and your neighbor as yourself. I fed homeless people while I was homeless myself, there is literally no excuse you can make that I will accept. This is a travesty. You have neglected the very people God has given you to care for, and you should know by now…this is the easiest way to earn your wings or at the very least, some peace in your heart. The church is an extremely powerful force for good and change when we get out of our own ideological way. If you would just stop judging for five minutes, you may be able to see the spirit of God living in the hearts of so many people left out there to die because you cannot tell the difference.
As far as I am concerned, no one has made a very valid case for NOT loving each other, so what’s the hold up with handing it out to those who need it the most? The usual suspect in my humble opinion: Money. Too many people still love it too much. As in, more than each other. Carry on my wayward friends, there will be peace when you are finally done.
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