One for the Sages

Today I was thinking that all writers are bodhisattvas. Holding the pieces of fragmented memories for you, transcribing so you know they are recorded, they are safe, you can move on without worry of your trials and tests, accomplishments, victories and so on getting ignored by this vast sea of moving consciousness. And then I realized, all readers are bodhisattvas, holding tenderly, if only for a brief moment the morsel of life the words represent. And then I realized all trees are bodhisattvas because they are the recorders and upholders of our life, the other half of our lungs. And then I realized all beings are bodhisattvas because it is all together that we exist, from the tiniest amoeba to the grandest of cosmos. And then I realized, if that is true…


A few years ago I started writing a novel, oh geez, musta been 2013, perhaps earlier. It was a good one too, wish I hadn’t lost all the pieces. The characters still play in my mind from time to time but seeing as how I started living most of what was written, more or less, I don’t think I’ll be going to the trouble of writing it all down in quite as fancy a way. Last year I started writing another novel. This is one my Divine countenance requested. A tell-all if you will, a deep thinking what if … I haven’t gotten very far into it and I hesitate now because some of it was very dystopian and we don’t need to be living any of that out anymore. Not now. We’ve breached the threshold as it were and I’ll not see any of my stories that aren’t in the uppermost quadrant of awesomeness, brought to life. There may be room for a short story out of it, skip the trip and stick to the good stuff. We’ll see.

You know what I think happened? I think we fell into the drink. We fell into a black hole kind of thing. Got swallowed up by the sea, the black expanse of space. The sunken city of Atlantis except it was really the whole she-bang that went under. And now we’re rising, been rising, up out of the abyss. And that ark they speak of, it held all those genetic materials from old. Held safely, returned as promised. All things made new. The stories we fly by, the lines of energetic imprints, too fast to make sense of unless you were following the trail of bread crumbs from start to finish.

Maybe I should write that story. I guess I already am. Maybe I leave too much out? Maybe I don’t leave enough out. If I tell a good story, will you go back to sleep or will you wake? That is the question. And when I ask it, when I peer out, the reply bounces back, we are awake. I hope so. I miss you when you’re sleeping. The sparkle in your eye, the only reason the sun exists. Ah….. I hope you see that.

I took my dog for a walk and on our way in, a dragonfly zoomed over and said “we made it!!!” Awakened. Reunited with the whole she-bang. My friends, my dear friends, thank you, for waking.

I’ll not write the story of the queen in fine clothing, I’ll write the story of the queen that keeps you going. Until we all laugh with fountains of joy when we look into each other’s eyes. Because home is where we always are.

Many Blessings ❤




Trigger Me This


Ugh. God, I am so sick of triggers. Why can’t I just be ok already? Living that life I kinda see a general outline of though it’s still super hazy. Hahaha, guess I answered my own question there, huh? This is just a journal entry, just a fuck, this hurts, I gotta do something with it, post.

A fellow blogger once posted a question to his community, why do you blog, why did you start blogging, something to that affect. I didn’t know how to put it into words then, as much as I write, some of these deeper stirrings within me are just plain hard to put into words. I think I got it now, I blog so I don’t get written out of my own story. I still feel remarkably invisible most of the time. Which, if you knew what I do in the subtle realms you would find uproariously humorous. So it goes.

I watched a video today which triggered that painful place that has been so resistant to healing. Some days I wonder if, how, when I’ll ever be free of it. Maybe I won’t. But it speaks to a larger trauma in the collective field, such a painfully huge distortion, it may take something equally huge to repair it. A few days back, I was perusing Patreon creators and I ran across a woman who’s page just kinda screamed at you and not in a pleasant way from my perspective, though I probably would have had a different reaction 20 years ago. Knowing what I know now, it just felt like a whole lotta anger.

So it got me thinking, plunging into my depths to the places still vulnerable to animosity I shouldn’t have taken personally. One of the questions I asked my non-physical helpers to assist with clarity on, was what she meant by cultural appropriation. Interestingly, a fellow Shaman had written an article about something similar not too long ago, (link here) and the question must have been afloat in my field since.

The yt AI finally got around to bringing me the rest of the information I needed. I have a much clearer understanding now. In this video which I hope you’ll watch, the woman describes some things that any energy or shamanic healer worth his or her salt knows backwards and forwards. Any yogi, guru, mystic, even any consistent meditator or consciously aware person should have started picking up on this by now… and she kinda implied that she was the first to discover it.

Ah. Yes, Dear One, you discovered something I was locked up for 15 years ago. Your grand discovery is what cost my son and I a normal healthy mother and child relationship. It cost entire cultures their lives, the rubble of their footprints all that remains. And many others in our very near history, brought to the point of extinction. Every indigenous culture that has been genocidally attacked, and every ancient spiritual text that has been rooted out, destroyed or hidden held this information. In fact, one could say, it is within us all.

I get it now.

That twisting, turning, gut wrenching feeling. I get it now. Why the thought of trying to market energy healing, intuitive guidance and so on and so forth makes me want to vomit until I look at my son, stuck in this moldy ass apartment, no money, no transportation, a semi-psychotic guardian for a roommate the only thing keeping us housed and I swallow that vomit and try again to heal and come up with a plan. What to do about this besides bitch and get triggered, bitch and get triggered, retreat for healing, rinse, repeat.

I am happy to see the information spread, understood, accessible to those whose ideologies have been so entrenched in the material reality. But the pain of what I lost following my gut, my spirit and this Higher Self within me, seeing it presented and applauded while I still haven’t quite picked up the pieces of my life, while so many others have even worse trauma to heal from… it just hurts.

I spent the last fifteen years finding the proofs I needed to validate my experience and perception of that situation. It is finally here. And it will help many. In fact, there are many, many things that will be brought to light as we move forward. But for the love of God and all that is good and Righteous, be kind to each other, share resources and experiences readily and slow your roll on the ego because many have entertained angels unaware.

And Angels, like elephants, do not forget.

Trees and Life

Well it certainly feels like a lot of weight has been lifted off our collective shoulders this morning. I woke up way early and spent a full hour in a state of energetic …I guess it kinda felt like a hug, like love, and very stable which I always appreciate so much.

This on the back of quite a few interesting days, things getting acknowledged, cleared, prioritized, reorganized and so forth. It doesn’t feel so much like we turned a chapter as much as we came home, we woke up, we’re starting to get the hang of this thing.

We successfully sidestepped engaging in some unpleasantness and went right for allowing the energy to clear it. Kudos, my friends, kudos to us all. I’ve been taking a look at some teachings lately. Sitting with my paintbrush, my little canvas and practicing mindfulness. I’ve been remembering to take a few minutes throughout my day to sit still, to breathe, to “bring my mind home to my body” as one of the Teachers suggests. It feels better. I feel more loved, more often and the funny thing is, I’m the one giving that feeling to myself. I heard it said it could be done but somethings you just have to experience firsthand.

You want to know another thing I’ve been taking to heart and looking deeper at? Ancestry. Heritage. The culmination of what makes up these physical bodies. The memories, the victories, the defeats, and so on of our relatives, our kin, strangers connected through time by a similar pattern of expressed genes.

It is interesting. I watched some or other video about the “true history or untold history of fill in the blank”. I can usually pull out a few tidbits of truth but there is also, generally, a whole lot left out. The biggest things that are left out which skew our perception, are those common threads of humanity. We can end up glorifying or vilifying our ancestors based on this or that grand event, just because those stories often fail to include those human qualities we all share, that down to earthness that grounds us and connects us. Like taking baths, washing dishes, raising kids, the soothing sounds of a gentle rain shower, the awe of sparkling rainbows. It is nature that connects us, that bridges our uniqueness with a human collectiveness. And those stories don’t tend to highlight that, but we would be wise to never, ever forget it. Hear me well on that one.

I noticed that the comments section on those things are rife with pride, a surging rush of vicariously felt victory. An onslaught of “my ancestors were badass!” with an implied you better watch out cause that means I’m a badass too. It always makes me wonder… what are they doing in this now that their ancestors so bravely secured for them? Are they continuing the battle already won? Replaying old scripts as if their life is nothing more than a character from an old history book? I can almost see them stuck between the pages, only coming to life when someone decides to read it.

From all that has gone before, you are in this now to create something new. You creating something new does not erase the past, it gives it a reason for being, a reason for the generations down the road to look back and say, whoa, look what they did, let’s try to top it and make things even better! Wouldn’t it be awesome to give our great-great-great grandchildren a planet rich with life and diversity? So many trees and plants growing that the air itself feeds them. Maybe we’ll be watching from some or other heavenly perch and be able to say, hey look what we helped create and continue to feel joy, our life no longer defined by the physical, becomes one observed and joyful moment to the next.

You have this now. You have this beautiful thriving planet in a sea of unformed consciousness, space, particles and waves, sound, light, unlimited potential. It is time to quit fighting over the resources that are here and realize you hold the power, the unlimited Divine resource of love’s energy to grow the most abundant and fruitful Garden ever. Trees that are fifty feet in diameter, streams whose waters oxygenate your blood, revitalize your cells. So many people do not comprehend the gift in front of us. Stop trying to convince them and start replanting. They’ll feel so good, they’ll no longer need convincing.

I sent an email to a dear friend the other day and said something from my little idealistic poetess place. “If we planted ten thousand trees for every one human we’d float.” I’m beginning to think I mighta been on to something there.

Many blessings on our journey and may your week be filled with bliss.

Peace ❤

Eleven (El n Eve, El Even)

I’ve examined my options as they are perceived now, from my lofty now, my grounded now and find I have a pleasant preference for this 11. I do believe it suits me.

This morning I went out to my pondering walkway. I said good morning trees. Good morning sky. Good morning … hey, where’s the birds. Hey, Mama, hey Universe, where’s the birds? Out came a neighbor that reminds me of an angel I once knew and up overhead, high in the sky, a hawk flew. I said good morning! Thank you! And the hawk flapped it’s wings twice, “you’re welcome”.

So many other beatifics, so many …

But yesterday? Yesterday was fierce. The remnants of stuff being cleared, remaining steadfast through the purging, releasing, breathing through it so I would not become attached again. Feeling the emotion without identifying, without becoming it. As I resist becoming it, assign no action to it, the grip of the past and all it’s accompanying identities loosens. So that, as the new dawn rises, the new breath to savor in the morning rain, I am one with it’s presence, reflecting my presence, reflecting now.

Obstacles & Roadblocks

Roadblocks and Obstacles

We all face them. You know what would be awesome? If we all got a little more proactive in helping each other overcome, heal and grow from them. So much of how the past operating paradigm was designed included the ideas of dog eat dog, every man for himself, and run the race without caring who you step on or how hard. This is deeply embedded in most of the psyche’s you’ll be dealing with on the daily. Overcoming those urges is a highly important component of stepping into, embracing and sharing enlightenment (or ascension, the love revolution, or however you describe and make sense of it).

Many of us, if not all, have been hiding behind a façade and false face to protect ourselves from this race, this mindset of our fellow brethren and sisteren. We either put on that smile and pretend everything is ok, even when it isn’t. Or we act like we’re stronger, faster, in it to win it unbreakable. We have trained ourselves to deny the truth of our emotional landscape and project a false image causing the others we interact with to sense the duplicity and unconsciously respond with a defensive posture, a bit less connected, because that’s what humans do and this perpetuates the cycle of isolation and need for false face. When we project that image of “stronger, faster, better”, it comes with a bit of a challenging stance, a little bit of untruth which also creates a defensive posture in the other. Furthermore, if the person we are interacting with has their own false egoic projection high and tight, yours might conflict with theirs (especially if it is a who’s best type) and will be viewed as threatening to the other’s avatar, false ego, etc.

All of these things are going to make interacting and connecting not feel very fulfilling. That not fulfilling feeling, if not addressed, if the suffering contributing to these frames is not examined and healed, is going to feed a self-perpetuating cycle of yuck.

I read a beautiful and timely article yesterday regarding spiritual bypassing and the need to hold space for each other. Offering each other that chance to heal, to be present with authentic states of being is one thousand percent going to make life more pleasant for everyone. You, being authentic and honest with who, what and how you are does signal others on an unconscious, intuitive, instinctual/gut level. It helps to rewire both yourself and others from the programming of what was. And when you don’t have to deal with switching between real you and the you you’re pretending to be, people trust you, relationships improve and genuine healing has a chance to take root.

This morning I had the plan to make a video. I have pretty shitty video equipment and not a very awesome set up. I bought a heavier duty gaming computer last fall as a present for my son’s golden birthday. He wanted to do some gaming livestream vids and I figured I could use it if I ever got the guts to make videos myself. The damn thing never has worked, and I don’t have the money to try and get it fixed and potentially fail again. So, I figured meh, I’ll make due with my little laptop, keep it brief, not worry too much about quality and just get the message across. Obstacle, solution.

I wanted to do a little training on how to utilize the Akash to help pull needed information into the collective consciousness and anchor it into the crystal grid. A how to for establishing a neutral field, collapse a question into a particle and then “ping” the energy out and read the wave as it comes back. It’s kind of a difficult thing to describe with just words so despite not really liking the whole videographer role, I was going to do it because I think it would be really helpful for people to know how to do this effectively (and see one of the benefits that comes from cleaning up your chakras, your energy blocks, and paying attention to your field). You really can’t get anything close to a neutral field without doing that and without a neutral field, you can’t be sure you’re reading the wave (the subtle energies) accurately. There’s more but that’s the gist. So you can understand why I thought a video would work better, certain mudras and other aspects are just better seen than explained.

I washed my face, got the camera out, set up the light, made a few notes, and while I was waiting for my recording software to load up, roomie gets a call from xfinity. On the regular he is not very pleasant in the AM. I’ve had to develop quite a few techniques and change them often to avoid having my field influenced by his aggressive moods every morning. One time I got the vacuum out and as soon as I felt the energy come present, I started vacuuming. When he came out stomping and throwing a tantrum, it fizzled quickly when he realized I wasn’t going to play and would not be feeding any attention his way. Today the call from xfinity turned into an hour and a half long thing. I finally decided to put the light and the camera away. As soon as I sat down to write, instead of record a video, he left to go run errands. This would be an example of a roadblock. I have a few options for working around the roadblock. But in the meantime, I’ll share this with you.

I’m not in any rush. I’m not competing. My gifts and skills acquired aren’t going to suddenly disappear. So, I sat back and observed. In the past, something like this would have set off a whole slew of victim triggers. A whole arsenal of self-defeating thoughts. The pain of which could have been more quickly addressed if I had a compassionate other holding space. Today, the roadblock gave me an opportunity to reflect on how far I’ve come. The message I wanted to send to others about the benefits of clearing those negative patterns is still here, still being delivered, just in a different way than I anticipated. This is what having your heart open to the guidance of the Universe whether it shows up positive, negative or what have you, is all about. Being PRESENT in the circumstance. Growing my soul. Feeding my spirit a way to go, girl, look at you feeling all peaceful and content where you used to get angry and frustrated.


These are the lessons we are here to learn. Being present and authentic about my life, my situation, my current state of affairs, I hope it encourages others to trust that they can overcome those roadblocks and obstacles too. That you can declare and transmute imperfection perfect by way of assessment and perception. This is how “all things work for good for those who love Him”.

And this is life. For real. So be brave because we’re all in this together. And I’m going to sign off now before my internet gets interrupted for the third time since writing this. I love you. Many blessings.



Discernment Muscles

I had a couple interesting happenings this morning I’d like to share. My morning meditation was pretty amazing, I’ll tell you that. Beautiful energies, beautiful insights and beautiful assurance. I’ll share what I saw in a minute. The words that came through were an insight about Creation, about being a Creator. I was reminded of those first seven days. The separation of the Light and the Dark. This has been playing on my soul in a couple different ways as of late. The theme of my current awareness.

The other thing that has been playing on my to-do list, closing down the channels and openings, cutting cords and redirecting any even well-intentioned feeders back to Source so my inner sanctuary isn’t getting looted and sold on the “I’m enlightened” market. In the game of which came first, the chicken or the egg, I know that Unity Consciousness is a beautiful idea, but it is playing out pretty weird in the tangible realms.

That probably sounds snarky. But it speaks to a bigger realization which would be awesome to get widely understood. Inspiration comes from a giant energetic field of thought, some bright and light and lovely, others not so much. Just know that because we are all connected to that field, some more aware of this than others, it is entirely possible and happens more often than anyone is going to believe, that your latest inspiration, new idea, great invention could have erupted from the soul and spirit of that homeless guy down the street. We’ve assumed much because of the design of this system. I pray you wake up to it and I’ll leave it at that.

I was pondering out on my pondering walkway a video I watched of a guy who’s been pretty in line with the “ascending steps”. And as I’m listening to him discuss some ideas, some new things he’s working on, I realize these are the same things I’ve been writing down in my little ideas for keeping me and my little dude housed journal. It isn’t the first time this has happened. I have an idea I’ve been working on for a year now that another Reiki Master youtuber has implemented though she definitely and gratefully put her own spin on it in a way that doesn’t make it so it would affect my going forward. There have been quite a few videographers and writers of spiritual news that sometimes feels like I’m hearing a playback of my week in spiritual lessonry. And it all just makes me wonder… and I don’t quite know what to make of it, to be honest. I think we’ve tried many ways to address the conundrum it presents. I think this whole tangible realm is an exercise to that end. It reminds me of the old days, with their priest and priestess class, the gurus, the shamans, the oracles and so on. Atlantis, Lemuria, technologically advanced Alien Races and how the differences all fit in to the big quantum picture. It certainly makes the whole illusory nature of this reality crystal and clear.

So these were the things I was pondering, deducing, discerning while out on my walkway. I had asked AA Michael to double check on the latest, to make sure it was their own direct from Source “this is a  good idea” sort of thing or if it was a case of too close for comfort, either mine or his. We do need many healers but ethics and integrity are paramount here.

In other words, I was hoping to understand the ethical parameters of telepathy and Holy Spirit Communications, contemplating the boundaries, testing my ego reaction for jealousy, competition or what have you. And along comes a bee and I don’t know what kind of bug it was carrying but it sure did look like a grasshopper, s’pose it could have been a cricket because it was lighter green than grasshoppers normally are. And it just flew around with that thing. I’ve never seen a bee carry a bug like that. It was weird. I was just thinking gee, I should probably take a picture of this or something and then my neighbor came out. So… at least I have a witness for that bee’s behavior. And it kinda hit me. A bee carrying a grasshopper, a bee carrying Jimminy Cricket. OH how rich. Talk about a lesson in your face.

Anyways, it brings up the obvious issue again. It is essential to have more sharing and equitable distribution of resources. Because the way things are right now? Cameras and microphones everywhere? What is to stop someone with greedy intentions from hijacking, eavesdropping and then making a shit ton of loot off people who can’t do anything about implementing and starting a business because they are destitute? People being aware? Awake? Enlightened? Paying attention? Let’s hope so.

Everyone always assumes that the people who start a business come up with that idea all their own, but did they? As a telepath connected to the Unified field and a person who can see the angles, I can guarantee you that is not always the case. In fact, one of these days maybe we’ll clear the air on the whole she-bang, the whole, traumatize and leave an auric tear so you have easy access kind of spiritual looting that has happened. We’ll see.

In the mean-time and with these thoughts in mind, let me also expound on the morning visuals I perceived in meditation. The big giant diamond shaped funnel. The Beings who direct and focus the energy. The hierarchy. From the “Source” to the “Seraphim” angled in to the Buddha, the Christ, the Krishna and Sophia who then spread it wide and far over our earth. Refracted and reflecting Light. But don’t get confused because that one they like to call the Devil, he’s up there too, sorely misunderstood but there keeping the field of creation and all it can be, balanced.

And God said, He separated the Light from the Dark and I realized that’s kind of the first step of any Creator. Knowing and deciding what you will bring to life and what you won’t. Something to think about anyways. Know that you are loved, know that there remains immense and Benevolent assistance and that you are connected irrevocably to the whole even if you’re not the main player in someone else’s grand miasma. Your life is priceless. And your soul is made of the same stuff that created this entire Universe and every little thing that could ever be imagined out of it. Use it wisely and it will serve you well.

Many blessings on our journey and may we all know the meaning of the word home when we look into each other’s eyes.

Peace ❤



Remember This Face

Let’s see if we can unpack this a little bit to settle the confusion. Let’s fully embrace the spiritual lesson this moment in my life is offering to those who are trying to figure this spirituality, this holographic potential, this road to peace out.

I realize some of my Divine Masculine counterparts felt some confusion. The questions came. This is also an answer to them. And a -why- for rising above the battle cries and the desire to fight. The desire to fight goes away quickly when you expand. If you don’t feed the evidence of injustice, engage, call to arms, it ceases to exist. You are the only power in this Universe. Your conscious attention IS where all the energy in the Universe flows. If you do not feed that hungry wolf, that wolf dies. That is Universal Law in a nutshell.

We have been exposed to a reality, a way, a path to understanding the nature of things so thoroughly we no longer see it as a matter of belief but of fact. Buried deep within and underneath and hugely surrounding that picture of reality are an infinite number of other possible structures. But like a path through the woods that has been worn down from travel so that nothing grows there any longer, this belief in material “this is how it is” has become the fast route through the woods and most people don’t even see the rest of the forest any longer, they only see that one path so many travel on.

But yet, the rest of the forest also remains. You can put yourself anywhere within that forest and carve your own path. The question is why aren’t you? It’s gotten really easy to take the worn down one. Does that worn down one lead to water or do you no longer care where you’re going? Why? When was the last time you sang a song from your soul instead of repeating one someone else composed? When was the last time you gave yourself permission to dance out there in the middle of the woods without worrying if someone would watch and judge or care? Just to feel it. For absolutely no other reason than the rush of limbs embraced by music only your soul can hear?

You see, I am aware of the many stories this denial of this particular form of resources projects. I am aware that it doesn’t actually make sense in a rational, ordered world. I am aware that it can be perceived as injustice, as fuel for gaslighting, as fodder for all sorts of self-entitled delusions. I am aware of the conspiracy storylines. I just don’t think that’s a very pleasant way to view the world. So why go there?

From a spiritual perspective, I looked at my urges related to this. I didn’t focus on the originator of the paper sent to my house. I looked at the feelings within. What was coming up. I examined the urge to get angry, to feel victimized, to place blame, shame, guilt or rage outside of myself. And then I sat in silence with each of these little sufferings, I observed the emotions, the intensity, the desire to rail, swear, plot, avenge. I observed what those emotions would or could fuel and what the likely outcome of that fuel would be. I examined my impulses and checked them against what I know of peace and love.

Rather than allowing the urges to dictate my course of action, I waited. I looked for the examples of false ego this presented. The limited world-view. The stories attached to these beliefs. None of those things feels better than accessing my power and over-writing the rejection. Removing my vote from the lack matrix, the concept, the small-minded version of reality that would have me believe my fate is somehow tied up, life or death granted, by bureaucracy. The bureau of “we get to decide what reality is real”?

Why the fuck would any sane person do that? I live in the land of the free. The land of the brave. Somewhere along the way we forgot what that actually means. It means I am free -within- to imagine something even better and set to work bringing it to fruition. The well-worn path is there and if I don’t like it, I am free to chart a new course. I am free and I will feel free in equal proportion to how brave enough I am to say, “Hey I have something to offer, it is both worthwhile and valuable!” I can choose to be the real, genuine, joyful me that I actually am. I can be the example. Having the ability to innovate new ways of expressing my humanity, my inalienable right to change my perspective, is a gift I will not squander by spending another day feeling sorry for myself. I did that. The fruit of that tree doesn’t leave you full.

So yea, in a logical, ordered world when the doctor the social security administration sends you to says not to worry, the case is pretty clear but you still get the denial letter in the mail, you don’t have to wonder anymore who’s running the show. It isn’t logic, it isn’t bureaucracy, it is my Higher Self, my soul, MY LIGHT saying … be brave, you deserve better than this and being labelled “disabled” isn’t very becoming of a Goddess.

I’ve seen enough to understand the workings of quantumality, of the Akash. I’ve seen enough to understand that reality isn’t what we thought it was and that being brave is exactly what the doctor of my soul has ordered. If I be here to set the captives free, it only makes sense I start with myself.

sayonara 3D and thanks for all the…

I’m going to sit here and try to explain the unexplainable again. It seems to be my favorite pastime. So… my “3D” world decided we don’t need each other anymore. What I was, those anchors and back up and just in cases, they are dissolving. Probably already dissolved. No more beholden. Deep Breathe.

I used ta be… walking between worlds, holding bridges, shining lights in dark places, around corners, through windows on the forgotten. And now I AM. Funny, I never thought of myself as someone who pulled the doubting Thomas card but I guess I did. The intention though, the intention was to clear, pave, and make it is easier for the others whose hearts can’t stand the thought of anyone being uncomfortable. That’s the only reason to take the doubters stance, to present ample opportunity for soothing of every little nook and cranny of fear. I’ll go ahead and give myself credit where credit is due and thank everyone who helped accomplish that.

It’s been an intense few days, for those who are energy aware. The last of those cords, anchors, doubts, agreements, illusions, they are all being dissolved. No more pretending. No more pretending spirituality is one thing, the real world another.

It hit me pretty hard and I shed some deep, soul level tears. Denied social security. Denied a back-up, a connection to the way things were. Can’t hold on. Can’t pretend.

So here I am and here we are.

Ironically, I was trying so hard to use my gifts, offer my gifts without having to interact with people too much. It’s actually super funny from this side of the lesson. What my latest round of life review has been opening my eyes to. I don’t have wee little healer gifts, I have big ones. I can hear the sounds, the frequencies of different body systems. What muscles sound like, tendons, the pancreas, the bones, the cells that do this, that and the other… they all have their special song. This isn’t the sort of thing I should be hiding away because once upon a time someone said I was weird or crazy or zealous.

I’ve had to come to terms with the facts. Burn out the egoic “not-facts”. I was convinced so I continued operating under the assumption that because that once upon a time person did not see value in my abilities, everyone else I’d encounter would feel the same. I had accepted as truth, as viable potential that these gifts and skills in themselves weren’t awesome. So I way undervalued myself. What I come with. Who I came here to be. Where my heart has always been leading me towards through every trial, test, initiation and stand-off. I’ve been playing small. I’ve been playing mouse in the corner when I am every bit a cat.

I have no reason to doubt anymore. In the depths of those tears, I called out in the etheric, I called out in real time, and I sat back and accepted the love, the healing and the buoying that was right there waiting, encouraging, actually-truly-bonafidedly loving ME. And my heart sang with joy at the opportunity (excuse) in front of me. To bring these abilities all the way out to the Light and truly offer them for others.

I am loved. We can put that doubt to rest now. I am skilled and trained in advanced energetic healing. We can put that “what should I do for a living bullshit” to rest now. I am a conceptual artist of the spiritual realms, bringing life and form to “even better”. We can put that fear of my own power to rest now. My heart has been found true. By me. I am whole. I am expanded in my connection and awareness of you.

So it begins…

I’m fine-tuning with plenty of Guidance, an easier way to deliver healing dispensations on a personal level. One that I can feel comfortable with and know that those I help will be honored and held in sacred protection as they wake, embrace, heal and expand. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, you know where to find me.

Many blessings on our journey ❤

Egoic Purge

The inner realms are interesting, aren’t they? The culminating synthesis of all our currently perceived sensory experiences as funneled through all the memories stored in our mind’s warehouse, highlighted and shadowed and defined by whatever journey the soul has taken, how many ever times it’s taken one. Understanding, utilizing and expanding those perceptions, those meaningful glimpses into something fruitful for yourself and hopefully relatable and fruitful for others is the art of spirituality. In my humble opinion.

When we move beyond the veils of the mind, things can get tricky, communication with language can be a hang-up, hold up, thorn in the side. People generally process linguistic information through the mind. If they have their imagination muscles still working, they’ll be able to perceive pictures and images based on your descriptions. If they have their heart’s open, an inner dialogue well under way, they’ll get some feedback from within about why a certain something or other is showing up and whether or not it is helpful food for their own journey. Everything is helpful food for your journey, it’s just that sometimes you may not be hungry, sometimes you may have developed preferences. Both of which are okey, dokey.

I was pondering the other night, in my little pondering cave. The whys and hows of what have been called dimensions. My quirky little jokester self has organized the knowing a bit less starchy than I’ve seen it put elsewhere. The dimensions according to the storyline I’ve been perusing, I’ll share them in a bit and hope you see the humor.

I guess the impetus to clarify some pathways in my old noggin came from reading a comments section on some or other video I watched. The strange way people curse each other. The rigidity ridge versus flowity flow of different sorts. It’s interesting how much my reaction has changed. I don’t know if I’d even say there is a boatload of compassion welling up so much as complete disinterest. Which, considering what I know, is actually a form of compassion by way of … they’ll figure it out. Behind their closed doors. Just like I did. When I was slamming doors on different. I choose to compassionately offer you the necessary and solitary steps towards Sovereignty we all eventually decide to take. One way or the other.

I watched someone describe their first experience getting Reiki. And then I watched Russel Brand doing a Kundalini yoga short little how-to. You can imagine, with that subject matter in mixed company, the predictability of responses.

There was talk of possession and lower level entities and such and so on. You know the old stories. I remember that fear all too well. Ghost stories, and “or else” stories, things used on children. Classical conditioning in the empirical sense of the phrase.

I had to consider whether or not I still believed in possession and I realized, gladly, that those underlying truthy truths I once discovered, were still there, more well expounded now. One soul per body. Nothing else is actually – in terms of physics – possible. I used to think it might be possible, now I realize, it isn’t and can’t be. Souls are unique and the spaces they occupied are forever altered. The Universe, by their existence, is forever propelled new. Irrevocably assigned. “Those 2 dimensional beings will possess you if you do yoga.” 2 dimensional, as in characters in a story cause that’s what 2 D is. Not form. Line on a paper. Of all the things to be a’feared of…

Your field, that energetic cycling magnetic whirling force, now that shit can become affected, possessed if you must use that word. Like a tire that can get stuck in deep, wet mud. That is precisely why we are consistently urged to keep the leaven out of the bread, to keep our hearts in line with right thinking, right action, free of attachments. There is a distance from which your magnetic field cannot be affected by another magnetic field in terms of auric integrity. There is being tuned into the larger magnetics of the planet you live on that helps with that as well, the washing of the debris, the “not you” residuals. You are highly unique. You are utterly unique. There is and can be no other. Ever. Not duplicatable. That’s the beautiful marriage between Soul and Earth. Between God and Goddess. Mother. Father. Us. Nothing by any means can harm you. The YOU that is REALLY you.

Once you’re in tune with your soul, the rest is history. You are quantumly entangled with none other than yourself. A lot of effort has been made through the ages to get people tuned into their soul, their inner Light, the Kingdom of God within. And anytime a lot of effort is made towards anything, you’re going to see the evidence of change, the residuals, the place before it was changed, the remnants of the difference. The tire tracks, the footprints, the wake in the water, evidentiary velocity.

I had a dream about an ex-lover, an ex-love, an ex-soul mate, a used to be my one and only. My curves and angles all changed. Once upon a time, I had laid my head on his chest and heard a distant realm. I told him I didn’t know which reality was real. He told me to see a shrink. He was a’feared for my sanity. They didn’t know. I didn’t know. One soul per body does not mean one reality per soul. His reality was quite different from mine. I have not found a man yet that can encompass the fullness of my embrace. He was the anti to my Christ. And now I’ve been pulling cushions off the couches and chairs and building a little fort in the living room, sleeping on the floor. Solitary. Free. This vibe or leave me be. From the latest Lucifer to my Grace. So it is.

I’ve left in the dust many, many things, people, places, ideas that no longer served my soul. I am highly selfish that way. I’m highly I don’t give a fucking fuck, that way. I’ll leave you to your curses, don’t think I won’t. The Goddess is also a Great Green Dragon and man can she blow.

Oh, I am a weird one. The weirdest of the weird. I’m out riding on hot air balloons and cutting cords kinda weird. Here are the dimensions in story form. I can also deliver it via archetype, event, and myth.

  1. The sound created light
  2. The word put forth to write
  3. The form against all might
  4. Expanded now beyond, dark light
  5. Free for a minute I think we got it right
  6. Oh but to be free of this light
  7. Oh but to be free of this night
  8. Oh but to be free of this right
  9. Oh, we did it. Yay, we be!
  10. Now let me check your answers, now let me see
  11. Come a little closer here now honey bee
  12. Mama’s home with the counsel of three
  13. Let it be
  14. Or a second ride through heaven’s holy dale it’ll be
  15. You can’t stop time, you can’t catch me
  16. Oh but I can because you are me
  17. I left them, I left them alone and they died!!
  18. It’s only a dream the wicked witch cried
  19. Face to face we meet at last
  20. Here comes your King and he’s riding in fast
  21. Black Jack burning no need to go further
  22. Oh you silly one, you did, 1001 lotus now you must pin
  23. 5 x 5 the realm of the djinn
  24. Upgrade that shit from the tin of the wind
  25. And so on and so on and so on and in
  26. Now the world of illusions begins
  27. Heavenly three return the reign of the bee
  28. Why are you still going, it’s me it’s me
  29. Blood moon rising
  30. Still fucking pour
  31. Out the wrath
  32. Cause they want it more and more and more
  33. Just shut the door already.
  34. Oh look! It’s seven again. This time keep Michael away from the whore.
  35. Now you’re done, now you have the floor.
  36. Pick up sticks, Tesla didn’t know what he was talking about

The spiral has no beginning because It has no end because it isn’t actually a spiral. You can’t seal my fate cause fate rhymes with hate and I only got love for you baby. Mad, mad love.

Bless those who curse you, there is no other way.

Separate the wheat from the chaff and let your seed free.

Oh Grandfather, he said…

You’re not going that way. The path has already been made clear. Come. Here. Children, Come. Where did you stumble thinking you had to hold that massive conductor’s wand, or become the only light in the Universe? Never alone. Never needed, only desired. Sweet nectar, fruit from the Almighty Tree. Come. Children, come.

Where have you been? Walking so needlessly through brambles and thistles when a way has been made right before you? Come, Children, Come. Let go of your knowing so you can breathe, so you can be un-known. That is where new creations play. The playground. The garden of sprouting flora, fauna and all things you have yet to see. Seeds planted in the dark, rich soil. Do you think if you finally know what kind of seed you are, if you finally have a thing to occupy your mind it will all fall in to place and that’s when you will blossom, bloom to our delight? Get out of you mind, away from your knowing, suckle like a babe for that is much closer to the truth of who and what you are.

To feel love, to be love is not to “knowledge” love into a million tiny pieces. Expressing the knowing is describing information, it is separate from awareness even if only slightly. And you are too close to that which cannot be named, will never be named, contained, siphoned now. OK?

Let’s say you’re sitting on a river. Just a floatin away. Happy, lazy summer sunshiney day. You, relaxing and floating on an innertube, air buoying from the drench. Once you are already on that river, enjoying yourself, do you really need to gather all the other tubers to describe the experience? Teach on the art of free floatin down the river, how to let the water carry you and smile, smile, smile? Maybe bring out some diagrams and talk about the physics of air, water and displacement so everyone understands how it is possible they are floating, moving, carried with the warm sunshine on their faces, the laughter of children of all ages in their ears, the refreshing cool stream beneath their hiney’s?

Are there watchers standing on the shore? Over there? Standing still while you’re moving with the swiftness of the water? In the five seconds it takes for you to pass out of their line of sight, what is it you wish to convey and why do you feel the need to? Enjoy the sunshine on your face, the energizing rush of being one with the moving water. Let them observe as you once observed before you hopped in to take your ride. You’re riding now, so ride. Sit back and enjoy the sunshine, the love of the oneness. When the ride is over and they ask you how it was, feel free to share your stories. And you, who haven’t even stood at the shore to watch, don’t take the word of those standing there on what is taking place in there. Vicarious river rafting? Come, now.

We shout out to each other when fast rapids approach. We talk of them after we’re through and the water is calm, moving, but calm again. Do you get the full picture from listening during the five seconds it takes us to pass? Are they running now on that shore, to keep up with the dialogue of us on the river, taking pictures, admiring our nerve and delight?

Are you looking at those pictures? Starting to realize what you might be missing? Is it safe? Did someone from the shore come from down river to warn us rafters of impending danger? Are they certain what they saw when they were there will be there when we get there?

Ah, spirituality, the Kingdom of God. It is like a blessed ride down a lazy river that sometimes moves swiftly so I don’t fall asleep. With the sun and the air and the trees and the sky. Good times. These are good times. I’m gonna ride whether you do or not. The water is fine. The sunshine even better. And my heart is beating. Buh bump. Buh bump. Buh bump. Hoka Hey. Today is today.