COURT Briefing

A Decree from Heaven aka “Big Guy”

This message is being sent with the utmost respect and compassion for those becoming aware of some of the unencumbered injustice that has played out in the space that is collective consciousness where it interacts with the material realm called Earth.

Please understand, that even as a Supreme Being, there are certain occasions that require input, that seeing you as raised up and rising up children, demand a dialogue so that agreements can be reached and upheld so that no one on any level is feeling the effects of an abuse of the Power that is the All (when) focused.

Some of my Children forgot they were my children… or maybe they remembered all too well but without the lessons that have been learned through trial and error and trial and error ad infinitum.

Currently, a case has been brought before the Heavenly Courts regarding theft of “energy” and the corresponding and “secondary” charges that indicate and support the intent to steal by way of violation of Universal and Divinely ordained use of management systems whose aim was to facilitate evolutionary growth in the purest state.

Before the Court is the issue of meritocracy

Before the Court is the issue of debt

Before the Court is the issue of subordination and false jurisdiction

Of these issues the Court has found many in violation and will use Its Authority to empower certain levels of intervention to restore equilibrium.

Of these issues the Court has found pathways established by the Guardians and (by way of extension) the Builders that warrant ease of use and implementation of this finding according to precedent in current judicial systems existing on Turtle Island.

In the case of debt wherein individuals sought and borrowed personal financial beneficials in extreme excess beyond what was needed to maintain personal bodily health and psychological wellness and as it has been proven and found that it has not been utilized and distributed in some form that benefits the larger collective of humanity, the Court demands full restoration and payment of this debt with interest (that will continue to accrue according to the original amount until paid in full with a cut-off date of full payment to occur in 2019, specifics withheld).

Energy will be returned to the Living Embodiments found on Record (and going forward as new evidentiary based sources continue to reveal all who have been violated and not currently of Record, due to the impact of intent to purposely restrict and reduce the number of Living Embodiments, an issue that will also be addressed by the Court forthcoming). The worth and value of the energy that has been extracted has been and is being, calculated, it will be returned to the Living Embodiments in pristine condition, without static, black or “false” energy and in addition and where warranted, in the form of the currency noted by obvious and meticulous financial records by the institutions (both on and off “world) granted the authority to have done such and will be utilized for this dispensation, payable in the currency of the nation of birth in use at the time of this writing, March 19, 2018.

Whereas this is also found to be a case of enslavement and energy extraction on top of and with full awareness, intent to murder souls has been found, the Court does not find evidence to support the defense presented: playing out of karma trajectories. Intent to murder soul makes this a matter of the Creator of Souls and the reason for which this Court has been called and holds jurisdiction in this matter.

Furthermore, on the issue of enslavement and theft of spiritual insights and gifts from the beholden, this Court finds the parties guilty and use of both civil and criminal established judicial metes will be FURTHER empowered at this time.

All Galactic and Ascended Beings are to continue to assist with these maintenances. The Court recognizes those who have begun the restoration and remuneration process.



The Law of Say What

The Law of “Ya got bamboozled”

Welp, this is probably one of those times I should digest a bit more before I attempt to articulate thoughts… but this thing that is troubling my soul today, I have been wrestling with my whole life in one form or another. So, it is time I present these thoughts to the Light, to the Universe and hope to decipher a little more clearly what comes back.

It has to do with the way the “law of attraction” is taught. As far as I can tell, it isn’t taught very well or clearly at all. It seems to be a bastardization of a few sound principals. It would be nice to get back to the soundness and away from the discord and potential for harm.

One of the biggest thorns in my side as I’ve watched the “awakening” movement these last few years are the words “you create your reality”. While there are some underlying truths here, the statement as such leaves a lot to be desired. It sends a lot of people off on a materialistic and ego led goose chase. The foundation of all spiritual teachings and “proofs” can be found by way of observing nature. When you take a “spiritual” truth and nature does not support it with plentiful examples, chances are, it has somehow been distorted. That which has been distorted, is usually distorted to serve an agenda. This is the case for the “law of attraction”.

Living organisms are part of ecosystems. You can have an ecosystem the size of a puddle or the size of an ocean, but both are affected by a larger ecosystem, ad infinitum. There are kingdoms, human, animal, plant, mineral, the elementals and these have corresponding spiritual kingdoms (or information networks) that help support the balance and harmony necessary for the most fundamental law, the law of “will to thrive”. You can understand dimensional (or variations in) consciousness this way as well.

I think the words “you create your reality” are meant to be empowering, are meant to wake people up to their co-creative role but it too often seems to demand an acceptance of fantasy as fact. Telling us nothing exists unless we put our attention on it. WE cause reality to be. This observation is taken by way of a bastardization of new physics, the collapsing of wave functions and shit like that. Is it true? Only mathematically. Does it play out as simplified as it sounds? Not even close.

What this has always seemed like to me was a repackaging of two useful control tools, blame the victim and carrot on a stick. It isn’t as much a created “reality” your thoughts dictate so much as a created emotional and perceptive experience that results in a “feedback loop”. We know emotion and perception influence behavior. What “you create your reality” with your thoughts etc. means to a person that has been under the influence of excessive programming for the entirety of their life, could be pretty devastating for the rest of us when you stop to examine it.

And that silent voice in the back of my mind nudges and reminds me of predictive programming. It reminds me that having free will does not mean that shit is always going to go my way, but that I will strive to live and thrive anyways, and THIS is a concept that nature supports. Nature also supports some other important laws that are usually absent from any conversations about the “law of attraction”, the Law of Grace and Divine Sovereignty, which cannot be understood without the inclusion of chaos. Chaos and Grace are fundamental principles of the mechanics of this Universe.

It would be a hell of a lot more useful to understand resonance, rather than “attraction”. It is closer to the truth. Resonance also addresses the issue of blaming the victim. Perhaps people would stop judging and punishing the traumatized and vulnerable members of our ecosystem aka society, if this was understood. All you have to do, to fuck up and control a person for the rest of their life is set a resonant tone to trauma and stress. Interrupting these resonant loops, saves lives people.

All you have to do, to get people to lose their humanity and social cohesion is tell them that person created their own victimization, they made their bed, therefore it’s okey dokey to let them lie in it. Well, isn’t that just super convenient for the beings that like to victimize and experiment on people, who hope to overlay the very real world you are used to with a very not real simulated reality so they can have free reign on your planet and easy access to your body parts while you’re plugged into a holding tank somewhere tucked out of the way dreaming… with no consequences…but first they have to get you used to the idea of everything you thinking about coming true otherwise they’d have no way to explain the issues of incongruency that every attempt at algorithmic matrices of this nature leads to.

I’m a weirdo. I’ve seen souls that have reincarnated from timelines where the avatar/virtual game was a real deal. I’ve seen the cords and controllers and programs.

I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that usually the people who are teaching this are also teaching that this is a secret that has been kept from humanity, you are gods and goddesses capable of commanding the very elements of nature! This is common sense. Even a mosquito can adapt nature around its will to live. This is not rocket science and it has not been kept from anyone. “You create your reality” as taught most often, is not only out of alignment with other Universal and natural laws, it is not in alignment with some of the greatest teachings to ever grace our conscious shores.

If you understand the Way as taught by the Buddha, if you understand the formless and eternal nature of consciousness, the energetic systems of the body as taught by the gurus, if you understand Faith as taught by the one they call Jesus, if you understand the PURPOSE of a material realm… you’ll see this whole “mind as creator” thing for what it is. I hope.

A girl doesn’t create a rape scenario because she was born with attractive and symmetrical features and decides to wear a dress. A person living in poverty isn’t going hungry because they are thinking about how awesome it would be to experience hunger. These are social ills. These are the result of agreements being broken without recourse. It is the result of separation, of lack of communication, of oppression and manipulation. If you want to create a reality for yourself which belies your responsibility to your fellow man, go for it. It’s not as if break off civilizations haven’t been attempted before and nothing bad ever came of that right Atlantisites? But living in your own little bubble, incognizant of the suffering of others is not enlightenment. So …the rest of us are going to be over here making agreements that form communities built on more than fallacies and half-truths. Because this place IS paradise when we work together.

And since I’ve gone this far, might as well go the rest of the way, the spirit realm isn’t agreeing to support some of the bullshit the way it used to, God and Goddess have been busy cleaning house. That’s why an alternative approach by way of technology, frequency manipulation, thought projecting, idea mining, the intent to chip and remotely control is being sensed. You need to understand this. You need to be empowered by this because you do not have to agree to it. By Goodness. By Love. By Grace. By standing together as a united community. You need to get your heart and common sense in agreement, so the rest of this insanity can be isolated and healed.


So… I feel like writing, feel that there are things to say, that I have still not quite nailed in the saying despite how much has already been said. With this in mind, let’s hear from my Higher Self, not my Highest Self, this is not prophecy, just that part of me that still finds the water lacking. The part of me that knows that there is more to being spiritually gifted than a blog and a youtube channel and a website offering intuitive readings could ever fulfill.

What to write…?

On being a telepath? To explain the nature of such a burden in a world craving to take it on.

You know how most people like the ability to go inside their house, close the doors and feel a sense of privacy? In order to be comfortable in the telepathic space you really need to have your closets cleaned out, things that could be triggered and weaken your self-worth must be taken care of … otherwise you risk being tortured by those who have agendas you’d rather not know about. I should see if I can lay some groundwork to make this a lot easier. You know that kid’s movie, Igor? The brainwashing scene where Eva has her eyes held open to what is supposed to be horrifying images… in a lesser degree this has also happened to many of us. When you are fully in your power it isn’t too big of a deal, but if not, any number of images or ideas can be broadcast into that space and you have to be wise enough to trace back to the source … and delete … as well as request assistance in healing whatever program (or distortion) decided it was a good idea to send that through your conscious space. HEAL, so you can have pleasant conversations. PRACTICE DISCERNMENT so you do not get used. Or leave it alone.

On being a Shaman? To explain the nature of such a view in a world that is blind.

Can you imagine… in your mind’s eye… the space where all that is Light is on the left of you, all that is unformed which appears as blackness is to the right and having the strength and capacity to create a space and stand in the middle of these two? And not just stand in the middle, but negotiate between the two?

On being a Woman? To explain the nature of such Power in a world that is still egocentric.

The depth of love, the connection unseverable, the awesome responsibility that holding the seeds of life entails.

On being a Recorder? To explain the nature of one who can not only access the records but edit them in a world that knows so little you might as well call it nothing.

As we pass through what some call stargates and some call the birthing canal … this teeny tiny hole our Universe is passing through in order to expand further and beyond… it requires some energetic harmonizing on levels I don’t know how to adequately express. These gateways, these hopeful moments of Unity …trying to “stick it to the bad guy” gets us all stuck. So… we proceed higher, we ask advice of Grand Maestro… we see the whys, the motivations, the intentions, that “other” karmic point and we harmonize them, even if just briefly… so that our worlds are not in five thousand pieces and distorted but truly capable of expanding without losing the foundation of centeredness, of Source, of integration.

On being the compassionate witness? To explain the nature of observational stance to those stuck in feedback loops.

I don’t really know how to explain seeing the worst, sensing it, hoping beyond hope that I can provide the strength, tenacity of clear vision, wisdom, support, healing to those getting their hearts all dirty to clean and clear what must be cleaned and cleared, maintaining the separation of yet unsullied dimensions. I love you… I can tell you that and I won’t tell you more… for your sake and their sake and because some things are easier not to know.

On being reincarnate? To explain the nature of angelic form to those who must walk their journey either way, with or without “us”.

This one is probably the most complicated to explain. So, I’ll leave it at this … those who have had a “near death” experience… the “veil” is very thin for them, they have been given a chance so to speak, to earn their wings. The more we support these beings into the best version of this role we can imagine, the more help to humanity and our lovely planet, they can provide. The only place this happens is on earth. It is part of an agreement I am not at liberty to disclose.

On being clair-everything? To explain the nature of emotion, the importance of never losing this gift without spilling the beans on those who know too well what life without it consists of.

There are beings who have worked tirelessly and crossed many boundaries, took many risks, just for the chance to be human and experience life from our perspective. Learn to love and appreciate the sacred gift your life is. Return your focus on the expression of life, not just the gathering of stuff. Stuff provides wee little emotions, expressions between Beings, moments between Beings, are the stuff legends are made of. “Legends” … are what Universes are made of.

On being a timelord? To explain the nature of quantum time to those who cannot bear the taste of perfection.

The grass is not always greener on the other side and karma is attached to energy, not time. There’s a million more things I should say about this, but since there is a certain amount of clearing and healing happening presently with regards to this, I’ll wait. I will say, however, that when you grasp the truth of this, you will see without doubt how utterly, absolutely foolish, beyond any sense of reason, the concept of “war” is. Truly. This is not something you ever, ever have to experience again. Ever.

My dad told me once that he asked God to show him my spirit so he could understand me better. He said that what God showed him was that I wear a “coat of many colors”. I have waited a long time to call in the blessings to each and every one of these colors. Waiting, waiting, passing the ones that came through on to the resonates, waiting, waiting to feel the feedback… which rarely comes but is now slowly making its way back around. If you are blessed, bless others. If you have not been blessed, ask to be.

I should be an inter-galactic ambassador, no wait! I should be an inter-galactic shaman. I guess I already am and that’s the point of this post, just waiting on that paycheck so I can laugh all the way to the bank hahahahahahahahaha. Inside joke, sorry 🙂 Maybe I should do what Mr. Truman Show did and write myself a check for services rendered … if only I wasn’t acutely aware that what we do is actually priceless and crave that return to balance where it is simply understood… and all that that entails.

Peace be with you, always and in all ways.

What I Will

It’s been a wild ride this past week. I’ve learned some things, experienced states of consciousness and beingness that I don’t suppose I should sully with words. I guess if I had to sum it up and leave the details to be discovered by other journeyers, it’s been a matter of downloading the necessary ingredients to feed my soul, my own personal inner sun, which then in turn, feeds my spirit and body.

It’s been leaning into and accepting what it feels like to not have my mind running the show anymore as I transmit the harmonizing vibrations and broadcast this beauty to mankind. It has been the accompanying freedom of not being plagued with memories I don’t know how to process. It has been facing the things that used to undo me and realizing the power shows up, surrounds and supports me in those moments. It is the proof I am resurrected, and I am not alone.

I was looking for the end of my journey, looking for where this path leads or that path leads, looking for the what now, looking to take the information and make it translatable, marketable, useful in some other way than what my heart has been screaming from day one. I am enough. My presence is enough.

I learned about what it truly means to resonate with the frequency of Heaven. How, when I place my attention there, (the Light of my Being), by way of vibrational osmosis, Heaven comes closer, Heaven becomes now. I learned that anyone who has been here before is able to do this, able to access those frequencies, turn them on by way of intention and give a taste to improve the lives of millions who have not yet tasted… and this is what makes this realm so magical.

I’ve learned that good is happening, that GOODNESS is possible and that we can grow these good things with our attention and love. WE can water these seeds that have been planted so that they multiply, flourish, exceed our imaginations as God and Goddess are also drawn to where our attention is drawn and will add their two cents to the mix.

We have the tools and the foundation is set. Here is what I would like to see more of.

  • Intervention and rehabilitation for those who have been traumatized, (which is basically everyone but there are varying degrees to the severity). I have noticed that those who have been awake and aware a little earlier and without support are often targeted, fed on, used for a good story lines and end up confused and stuck in a loop of self-destruction but somehow still KNOW it doesn’t make sense… simple techniques can bring them back. Grounding, yoga, plant medicine, mindfulness/art and community. These are the key ingredients. Places to do this without a focus on profit margins would be awesome… because the true profit to humanity cannot be measured.
  • Safe spaces for children to grow and be nurtured into something more than an automaton. Can we please not do to another generation what has been done to us? Can we get our children reconnected to the hows and whys of food as medicine. Can we make sure every child knows how to build a shelter and a fire? Can we make sure every child understands they are dynamic Beings whose instincts should be validated and honored and not subject them to rewiring that serves absolutely no one but age old systems of enslavement?
  • I’d like to see more discernment and less shame. I would like to see consensus leadership. Leaders who are chosen because they are unable to forget the least or the greatest and strive to balance the two. Leaders who are not granted their position by way of paying to garner attention but because the attention has been earned and their wisdom undeniable.
  • I’d like to see a continued and increased effort to clean up our garbage with a focus on not transforming the gifts of the earth into something that is not useful, pollutes, takes up space in an uncomfortable way and does not serve the greatest good. There are numerous plants and fungi that can do everything oil does but better and without the destruction and destabilization.
  • I’d like to see healing modalities brought to the forefront that focus on resonant frequencies, intuitive and soul level clearing, color, sound, shamanic and restorative waters and crystals utilized in the way they were intended by those gifted to do such.
  • I’d like to see children brought into this world by parents who are in love and the paradigm of the breeding programs brought to a complete halt and neutralized across all timelines.
  • I’d like to see the multitude of ample experimental and scientific evidence regarding the human body and psychological functioning utilized for the betterment of mankind rather than something that can be bought, suppressed and utilized against the species. I’d like to see this occur across all time and space.
  • I’d like to see the complete restoration of artists as the true oracles, singers and writers redeemed and restored to their position in the angelic hierarchy and the gifts of engineers and craftsmen to be utilized with the utmost respect, nobility and integrity to the betterment of this plane of existence.
  • I’d like to see more effort to undo the narratives surrounding poverty that continue to idolize those with resources and demonize those without it so that unity can be felt more widely. To support this, I’d like to see an increase in empathic gifts and more people able to reconnect with their soul’s mission without being forced to beg, borrow, steal, hypnotize or enslave others to accomplish it.


I’d also like to remind us all to say thank you and send love to all of those invisible people who work without acknowledgement to make the world a better place.

Here’s to creating a better world for everyone. Peace be with you and great Joy your reward.


The Goddess Chakra

Ascension stuff  🙂

I’ve been nothing if not a spiritual scientist, on a quest this go round. It has been challenging and enlightening in ways that defy words. I do try to find the words though, words that might point the way so that others, who may not be interested in a lifetime (or many lifetimes) of study and experimentation, might glean some value. That is kinda the point in my humble opinion. Being taught almost exclusively by Guides in one form or another… well, sometimes the translations don’t always work out to everyone’s liking. I’m making this disclaimer here because I have a feeling this may touch some nerves unintentionally and it is not my/our intention to do so. We are simply working with what we are working with.

Ok, with that out of the way, let me tell you about a discovery I made today, a new energy point I was previously unaware of. Regardless of what any other teacher or seeker has ever named it, I am calling it the Goddess Chakra because that’s what makes sense to me. I am big on self-discovery and the Sovereign journey and the proof being in my pudding, if ya ken. It is located about a foot out from my tailbone, nearly but not exactly aligned with the sacral, it is lower and like I said, some ways out from the physical body. Once this became pretty clear in my awareness, I noticed a couple other new ones while I was poking around back there, in particular a giant pendulum swinging one, yep, a giant sun disc looking thing on a pendulum, the top of which seemed to be anchored at or above my cosmic chakra, yea, I realize I can’t even do justice to describing this, cause that sucker seemed way up there. I’m going to have to investigate this one a lot more thoroughly because this is not something I have come across before…. In quite this way, the movement of this thing kinda blows my mind. Above that is what I’m calling the gifted heart chakra which I am associating with Michael (cause I love that One so), and it is about a foot or so out and behind as well. Three new ones, I guess, the Goddess, the swinging one, and the gifted heart. The swinging one reminded me of the flaming swords outside of the garden so I guess I shall be Christening this vessel official Garden territory. Yay and …man, that was a long time coming home.

A few other things were brought to my awareness once I sensed the movement in the “Goddess chakra”, the breaking of the seal so to speak. One of the more important (and the reason for this post) is that it may make movement of Light vastly improved, easier, and more fluid. Those who are helping to ground and distribute the energies that will be flowing in steadily now, especially with some of the bigger waves that will be more intense, may want to commune and discuss with their Guides and Activators as I do believe this is an answer to a request for assistance. This is a Chakra that can connect your Lightbody with the Lightbody of the planet which is bringing in and harmonizing frequencies for half the cosmos at the moment, cause we’s awesome like that.

Anyhoo and anyways, onwards and upwards and it’s all Good stuff. Peace be with you and many blessings on your journey.


On Babylon and Grace

How to write and say what I want to say. There are some aspects to my life that are very hard to make sense of. I have not drawn conclusions on them and that’s why I write. Trying to find solutions for problems that are too complex or obscure for this mind to solve.

So, let me attempt to be as authentic as possible despite an enormous amount of confusion surrounding these topics. Perhaps I’ll find a satisfying resolution through this process. I realize that part of why I have not vocalized much of this confusion is due to the fact that I have been programmed to believe it will incite a certain amount of rejection from my fellow humans. I want to talk about it anyways and it’s going to end up in some weird rambling cause that happens every time. Echoes of endless conversations I’ve had internally, trying to make sense of memories that don’t make sense. Please bear with me. About three of you who these words will reach will be able to read between the lines.

This is a story about my ascending consciously past the constructs of faulty and damaged timelines. It is a story about people like Corey Goode and concepts such as the WingMakers. It is a story about a girl who has been plunged into synchronicities that rarely make sense. It is a story of a girl who walks between worlds but can’t seem to rescue the one fragment of soul that feels held hostage by these ideas.

It is a story about why I was plunged into homelessness and why I’m going to need some help healing these loops and hoops and memories that goes a little further than teaching me about the Law of Attraction cause this poverty well, it runs deep. Teaching me how to fish and dropping me a pole when what I really need is a ladder cause I already know how to fish and it only makes this soul fragment cry out louder “get me out of the fucking well and I’ll tell you what fishing is really all about!”

So let’s start with the confusing parts since this vibe has been circulating, the whys of certain synchronicities, the what does it mean if and when. The numbers. The messages. The so called “secret space program” and the karmic and reincarnate serendipitous nature some of us are living. The threads of timelines we’d just as soon let die and crumble than face. Will we survive the collapse? We’re here aren’t we. We already did survive. Just don’t recreate them. Let’s have a little faith and trust and heal the memories without calling those timelines into this hologram and supporting them into existence.

1992 … the year I fell off the cliff 50 some feet and didn’t die, did get rescued by a boatload of paramedics and firemen going by at that exact moment. Thank you Jesus. 2003, 11 years later, Jesus comes again and brings some friends and cracks the bible code for my dad so his soul could be freed. 2012, nine years later and I figure it’s finally complete but not much happens in my reality so I shrug it off and keep grinding away. I discover a few things… I start writing a story about another reality, about a girl who discovered some ancient writings that would change humanity and the steps she took to decide what to do with them. I share these ideas over text with a dude that liked to help me from time to time, thank you Mason, saved my physical life more than once. “God” calls and asks me to do one more thing, “be the face” was the request. I rediscovered and began utilizing some of the things my dad was taught through art. I was breaking the seals through and with my art cause that’s how metaphor works. We were caged, breaking some of those seals, uncaged us. But the price I paid. The price I am still paying…..

Every bit of that art was thrown away and I was plunged into homelessness, disappeared. The only reason I am still here as far as I can tell is that a whole lot of spirits, both ancestral, off world and “ET” stepped in. I was “extracted” and left for dead but loved by my Creator so… I was saved, that is the best my mind can come up with cause passing through the veil as many times as I have is a hard one even with this much Spiritual proof in my back pocket. And God came really, really, close. I remember having to ask more than once if I was dead or alive because it was all just way too surreal.

“They” brought me to Boulder. And these are the things that are hard to talk about, hard to make sense of. Star of a reality show, tracked, observed, but free to perform the metaphorical finishing touches that released humanity from certain aspects of bondage… of … containment. A Christian saved me and brought me back, because this isn’t your show, it’s God’s. But, nonetheless, I’ve had a pretty difficult time reintegrating. Pretty hard to have seen some of the things I’ve seen, know some of the things I know and not be confused …. Confused to the point where functioning around people who are unaware or unenlightened becomes cumbersome, anxiety provoking, painful. Major pieces of my life that I can’t talk about, that I have to shield from them because the actual truth is not something I’ve figured out how to talk about or get past or or or or or… and the Truth, that disclosure is not the same as ascension or enlightenment and spiritual freedom for humanity, I still see so many ways that this could cause more harm than good. It isn’t THE timeline, it is YOUR timeline and unfortunately mine too except for the fact that it isn’t. And yes, like I’ve repeated ten million times, I am happy to help you heal it, we are in fact, here to heal, I just don’t think leaving me in poverty while I do it, is a viable way to accomplish this given your track record.

And somehow … in all of this, staring at Babylon knowing right where the exit door is, told to hold on to hope, ignore the frustration that I have to figure out a way to create a business selling something to someone, despite what I’ve already done but can’t talk about so I can stay alive because my second trip through homelessness drew a pretty crushing blow to my beliefs in manifestation. That was the time I had to escape the mind fuckery that was coming at me, the energetic frequency manipulations, the threats… yea, I didn’t tell you that was why I hit the road the second time and had to literally travel through hell and homelessness again just to stay alive in 3D, sorry for lying, they were coming for me and I was afraid. Again, I was saved by regular old people, most of whom were/are Christians… that Holy Spirit vibe, I tell you what – THANK YOU JESUS, there’s a reason why we say it so much, there’s a reason why “Alexander” and “Charles” and “Paul” and the rest did what they did. I pray with my whole heart that you never have to know the full extent of what you were saved from. I can tell you, don’t give up your faith no matter what they say. It all still fits together.

What I know is that Christ Consciousness is capable of protecting us from anything you could imagine as a threat, you’ve been watching this happen in seemingly miraculous ways for fifteen years, gentlemen. And if YOUR consciousness is not equipped, turn towards yourself and say the following words I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME THANK YOU I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE YOU. Sometimes you cannot make amends for what you did and the only unifying solution is to let the timeline go, fall into the arms of humanity and allow yourself to be healed by normalcy. It wasn’t people who believe in disclosure or ufo’s or magic that saved me… it was regular old hard-working and heart-working Americans. That’s who saved me and that’s what I think of your call for disclosure. I owe them one. See how cool God and balance works out when you let it?

It seems to me you are using the slogan of disclosure so you have a bigger mirror to look into when you ask yourself for forgiveness. Let me make it really really clear how unfair and unwise what you are asking for is until you stop the use of frequency manipulation and testing parameters of psychological warfare on the general public. Just because you don’t believe in God doesn’t mean God doesn’t believe in God. Should I add a “dummies” in here or have you learned to decipher my uncle’s frequency by now. My dead uncle. My Vietnam war veteran dead uncle who is apparently still capable of communicating. Weird, right.

Why does me trying to figure out how to make money always lead me back to this… WHY!!!????

Spiritually mature me knows that stomping my foot on this issue gets me nowhere. Spiritually mature me knows that the solution is to let it go, let that part of me die and never resurrect it again. Spiritually mature me also knows this one cuts deep and this is probably one of those times I should ask for help to heal this. So I am and so it is.


Money & …Stuff

Ah, Money and Random Sunday Thoughts

Money is not abundance. Money is abstract. Money isn’t energy. Money is the accounting of energy, the attempt to quantify, track and control energy. It is, though and unfortunately, quantifying a false light in most cases. Because most people cannot tell the difference. On purpose.

Yea, I’ve been down that rabbit hole of timeline malfeasance again. My rent was raised and I’m living on faith and hope and trying not to be mad about it. Got some pretty awesome healing abilities but yet lack the implementation skills and platform to get to the people, notwithstanding my moral objections … the middle way on this one is still difficult to access. So I ponder, I observe what the Universe sends my way to assist these ponderings and I discern.

Discernment. Hear me laugh really, really, really fucking loudly. This is a gift I came with. The trials and tests and training to use this gift well, fucking A and you have no idea but God Damn if I could speak freely, you’d pay hand over fist for what I know. And therein lies the ethical crux. Over and over and over again.

I’ll share with you some of the things El Maestro brought to my awareness in response to my call for Universal financial support. The “field” surrounding money is dense, dense, what’s a better word for dense…. Quicksand? A density that feels almost like quicksand filled to the brim with emotions that have not been cleared or processed or even looked at for …. You don’t want to know how long.

Abundance matrix and law of attraction and magic and blaming the victim. Ill-conceived understanding of human needs, the interwoven conduits of love and harmony and the role of Divinity in all these human machinations. The truth of the players who hold the cards, beyond social engineering to straight up genetic manipulation outside of natural law but unable to truly exist outside of natural law and those who play no matter how obvious the latter gets ignore this fact repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly. Nature and nurture, nature and nurture. If you can see it, you are of it.

Trapped in timeloops and distortions and fumbling for the light but rejecting Divine Counsel and Wisdom as folktale, caught in their own deceptive use of such they did not see and hate to realize the Truth that resides there, that called, even to them.

Men who have done the unspeakable, women who have encouraged and allowed the unspeakable, gods without power attempting to mate a tree with a candle.

Dense energy is easier to move just like a deck of cards in it’s container is easier to move than cards thrown from a plane over the ocean in a hurricane.

Do you know how many realities humans exist in where they are not experiencing this? Do you know who escaped “el experimentica” and how they did it? So… you want absolution, forgiveness, redemption without having to stand face to face with the one capable of granting it. I don’t know what to tell you. Sounds like insanity to me.

And Buddha as prince turned pauper to find a way to save his own soul.

Random thoughts… if you see how the pieces fit together let me know or don’t, that’s fine too.

Goddess Love it is

Perpetual motion

Frustrating emotives

Unending climactic cynamatics

Wayward projections

Cyclical rising

Tidal waves of desiring

Toppled ecstasies

Dynamic delicacies

Fruition of the release

To build again

To build again

To build again

Working in harmony with Mother Earth is much like working in harmony with a woman. Working in harmony with a woman is much like working in harmony with Mother Earth. The elementals of her body, the craving of her soul to be lost to and free from her duties and concerns, forgotten by her self, the mind that sees all. Wild, free, captivating. This is the heart of a woman. At once free from all and any restraints that could ever be thought of or imagined … but oh so willing to embrace, comfort, care for and nurture, provide ecstatic sensations that free you from your mind too and anyways and despite. The ultimate reflection of Will, of right use of Sovereign Design. It is understandable that it scared a few and they reacted. It is a dynamic that takes some getting used to. Don’t always be so quick to worry about catching up, or going some place or doing some thing with it. For a moment just revel, just be one with the womb that is life, let the waves and well spring ocean of her love sweep you up and carry you into an ecstatic and glorious bliss you couldn’t earn or quell even if you had the heart to. This is Grace. You are the offspring of a marriage between the eternal formless consciousness and the energetic Maestro, we are in the latest cosmic dance playing out as the physical embodiment of Divine Union. They like to do this a lot, like any lovebirds would.

May it be well with you.

How I Heal the big shtuff

“Another layer of ye old onion”

Walking through fire

Dancing through the weeds

Wind beneath me

But I don’t float away

I float on and on and on

Begin again they say

Find a root, rest your feet

But where to feel relief

When nowhere ever seems

to want the likes of me

Perhaps I’ll peel another layer

Of ye old onion that is me

And if it makes em cry

Well that was meant to be

Don’t stand in my place

If you don’t like what you see

When I come back to gather

What you must know was meant for me


Another layer of healing from the depths of my soul. I would like to take a moment to make it very clear that I will be more vocal and assured in my understanding, Awareness and Presence in this time of healing. Like I mentioned in the last post, some of the finer points of my journey are going to need to be expressed without the pretty and standard language I use when I am being more “artistic”. Right now, I want healing, I want to feel it in the Collective so… as is my way…. I’m going to bust the rest of this fucking wall down and heal the shit. Peace be with you. 🙂

I will to clear the programs within me that are related to core wounds regarding my gifts. I am a healer. I am healing presence. I am alive. I thrive. I restore. I create. I live in an abundant, intelligent, enlightened ecosystem of love and joy. I release without judgment any confusion, fear, ridicule or shame surrounding the right to heal and thrive right where I am at this moment in time.

Two of the “wounds” I have held are coming up again to be released and transmuted. The triggering and reflective actions of the larger body are resonating a desire to heal and be relieved of these as well (that is why I am sending this out “public”). As I heal myself and transmute these energy blockages, I offer this energetic pathway and conduit for any willing to heal blockages held in the emotional, mental, and physical bodies across all time and space related to or resonating with these frequencies.

One of my primary and advanced physical interactions with Transcendent Beings ended with my being hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for 9 days (beginning on 3/3/03) and put on a civil commitment against my will for 5 months which the father of my first-born son then used to limit and block my inherent right to mother and nurture my child, resulting in an enormous ground swell of pain and obvious trauma. This was 15 years ago. In this now moment I witness, observe, feel and will to release judgment, fear, cellular trauma, distrust, feelings of unworthiness, feelings of being “bad”, feelings of impending punishment and the need to shrink myself, the thought form that being a spiritual person or having a spiritual experience, being an empath or accessing my Highest Light was or could ever be unacceptable, “uncivilized” or a sign of mental “illness”.

I release, transmute and request assistance to heal all mothers, fathers and other caretakers separated against their will from their children across time and space. I release, transmute and request assistance in healing and soothing all children both grown and young who have been or were ever separated from their primary caretaker or family for any reason and for any amount of time where it has caused trauma and restrictions in energetic flow without judgment, up to and including all aspects of Divinity, healing both Gaia, Goddess, Mother Earth and Father God, Yahweh and all representations and interpretations of such. We forgive, release the trauma and memories while retaining the benefits and wisdom gained. I forgive myself and all others involved in these energy blockages. I embrace the abundant support of the Universe and fill my heart, mind and body with love, joy, peace, play and inspiration. I ask that the Universe and Collective Body of healers and Divine Wayshowers send Light (of understanding), Love (of compassion, wisdom, strength) and Inspiration (for new and profoundly effective methods) to all mental health professionals now and across all time and space to be restored, redeemed and upgraded in their capacity to assist those in crisis to the Highest Light and Most Abundant ascendant integration on behalf of humanity and all others present in this time of transformation and renewal. Healers, Shamans, Lightworkers/Emissaries/Ambassadors, Empaths and Visionaries restored, esteemed and supported, utterly and abundantly as they answer the call of Gaia, Goddess, the collective, the Universe at Large and the Creator, the Word and the Beginning of time and space and all creations stemming from or connected to this Source of Life. I invoke the Highest level of agreement and cooperation for the relief of disharmony caused by dogmas, ignorance and fear regarding physical embodiment of Ascendant Beings and other forms and manifestations of dis-ease related to spirituality, awakening and atunement to higher vibrations, frequencies and expanded, growing, conscious awareness. Abundant and Highest Light filling all cracks, gaps and misconceptions, energetic plasma shielding, holding, renewing and supporting as cellular regeneration and spiritual integration heightens. Unlimited fountains.

The other is a similar wound that has been carried in much the same way. I have experienced several invasive major surgical procedures on my spine. One was a result of an accident and crushed vertebra, one was not necessary and performed incorrectly, one was a repair of the second. Both the second and third major surgeries have resultant discord, a feeling of distrust in my own ability to make wise decisions which resonates as shame, confusion, guilt, a feeling of being pressured or “tricked” by an external “expert”, feelings of being violated while most vulnerable, weakness, self-loathing, distrust and embarrassment for “needing” to seek relief from pain and suffering, embarrassment that I did not know how to turn on my own healing algorithms or know of, trust or seek relief from other healing modalities. There is cellular level anger and rage regarding the feeling of being portioned off as if my body was a separate and nonfeeling material component incapable of holding memories.

I remove from all layers of my Being all fear, confusion, shame, guilt, separation and anxiety, the need to over protect, limit or abstain, all false beliefs and self-imposed limitations related to and resonating with distrust of the physical experience as unsafe or unable to bring pleasure, and all associating judgments. I forgive myself and all others involved with these energy blockages. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

I call on the Angelic unbound force of Creation to assist with the swift removal of these energy signatures as they are released from myself and across the Collective and request further assistance to remove and replace “fear”, “victim” and “confused” imprints with the abundant, ever present support of the Universe. May all hearts, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies be filled with an overflow and outpouring of love, health, wealth, joy, peace, play and inspiration. I ask that the Universe and Collective Body of healers and Divine Wayshowers send Light (of knowledge and understanding), Love (compassion, wisdom, strength) and Healing to all medical professionals as they are restored, redeemed and restructured to assist and hold the Highest cooperative Spirit in accord with the Highest Light of Divine Will for renewing the template of humanity as the physical expression of embodied Spiritual Beings.

We accept assistant and fortitude in swift clearing of any fragmented debris or toxins released related to this healing and anything that cannot be transmuted or made useful immediately removed from our realms and returned to the Central Sun or beyond for transmutation.

May the Blessings of living in harmony with Creation bring you Joy all the days of your life.

Music is great assistance with validating your emotional experience. Validate, release, infuse with the new new. You are loved beyond measure.

Integration and Ascension and Stuff

Holy Hannah have the last few weeks been one intense bunch of what the fuck. It is getting to the point and after having survived this latest round of what the fuck that every moment I have to dress my words in pretty and hold back this fire burning away what I ever thought life was about, gets harder and harder and harder. Until, and without fail, I finally have to laugh at just how plain dumb it all is. But there are still way too many who won’t get the joke and my inner healer just won’t let me laugh too loud for fear of hurting someone. One of those healer short-cuts I guess, don’t hurt em, you won’t have to heal em, more time for dishes, right? Sorry, bad joke but sarcasm is my favorite release. Before enlightenment, wash the dishes, after enlightenment wash everybody’s damn dishes. Say whaaaat!? 🙂 You heard me.

Since I am well-versed enough in the art of this here Spiritual Journey I’ve been on, let me offer some insights on how to get through some of this heavy integration being offered up. Number one it is coming from all sides, all directions and every which way but loose, but do hold on loosely, do, cause if you cling too tightly in this air, it’s going to hurt like a beeeeyitch.

Let’s start with the easy one (hahaha) and move on from there. The Masculine and the Feminine. Easy peasy right, we know what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman (insert more laughter here). We know shit about shit. You want the truth with a side of TRUTH, there’s some truth. I cannot label these energies or aspects one or the other because it isn’t TWO, it’s FOUR. Yin and yang on your masculine aspect and yin and yang on your feminine. Both your “Feminine” and your “Masculine” aspects are able to create and deconstruct. Both, equally, if you’re up for the challenge.

Now check this. These four energies swirling around with various functions are supported by that big ol positive force of the Universe some of us call Grandfather Sky or Father God as well as the grounding influence of physicality, what some call Mother Earth, Gaia or Goddess. There is your well-rounded six dimensional being when these are working in harmony (rather like a V6 Chevy from back in the day and boy can those baby’s hum, am I right?)

Integrate. Understand what you are made of.

Moving on up… we have the integration with our past lives, our trips to Heaven, the Celestial Realms and knowledge, if you will. Some of us bypassed, didn’t know, couldn’t handle it, had too many wounds and moved on up anyways without fully integrating those wonderous 4. Maybe some of us came straight from that 7th heaven and forgot how important the integration with the physical vessel is, knowing how awesome the place we get to go back to is? Maybe some of us got a little head strong and got our asses kicked in January cause we were half-way through integrating all three levels of 8 when we realized it isn’t possible without a stable 4? Shit happens. Transmute, heal, take the lesson from the Elders. They are a tough bunch but none of us would be this far along without em. Remember we have 4 brains, essentially, and integrating, balancing and harmonizing that 4, makes 8 come a little easier. In other words, depending on what kind of work you are here to do and when or what you have been before, seven isn’t nearly as important, the Angels are getting so restless, they’ll pretty much do that one for you, if you would just take care of the stuff that you and only you can do. Ahem, physical vessel, Sovereign Being, remember? Your LightBody as it has been referred to, is nongendered. Utterly. So, fix your pieces and you’ll have a much easier pathway to weave this larger spiritual “body” into.

Integrate. Understand what you are made of.

And that brings me to my final point of consideration, if I haven’t lost you yet, integrating with those not hyper-focused on healing millions of years of human history. Boy, hasn’t this one been fun. I’m sitting here in the thickets with them. I love them. Do you hear me!? I fucking love them!!! We are one!!!! Right? “They’re asleep”. “They’re the problem”. “They’re the “normies”. Et cet era, et ce tera, et cetera. All I have to say is, what makes you so damn sure? They could be your elders, coulda been through this all before and are literally just here to support you, provide mirrors, give you a big, giant grounding stone so you don’t fly off to la la land with your pants around your ankles. They love you too, just for the record, don’t understand half of what we say, but that love is as real as the sound of water making you pee your pants when you’re riding in the car with no rest stop in sight. Be kind and maintain your common sense, so we don’t end up planting seeds of discord in a community Garden we all eat from.

As you work on integrating and healing what needs integrating and healing, please also, don’t lose your sense of humor, your sense of wonder, or your sense of awe. We are learning to bear the truly limitless Intelligence and fullness of Love that emanates from our Creator, from the Source of all Life and from US because THAT’S WHAT WE ARE MADE OF so we take small bites, digest, let our tummies settle, give a little love burp or two and go back for more until we realize THAT’S WHAT WE ARE MADE OF and we never hunger again …that one you can take to the bank.

Peace until next time Miss Sassy Pants decides to tackle integrating again. Hopefully it will be the Big Three we’re all waiting on pins and needles for: Humanity, Clarity and Courage. I love you. We love you.


{Side note: I am about two-thirds of the way through my advanced Reiki training. My teacher calls it Laser Reiki, it is a multi-dimensional healing modality, beyond the traditional Master level 3 (which I have completed), that can help tremendously with clearing house on the things that often hang us up (dogmas, trauma, DNA level “invisible” memory passed through your family line, spiritual contracts you didn’t know you signed, etc). It combines Shamanic and Cosmic know how with Reiki’s delivery. While I’m waiting for the official shingle, I am available for those who feel called on a donations/trade/barter basis. I get practice, you get relief without a $300 price tag 🙂 Please email me if interested ( Many blessings on your journey.}