It’s Monday again

Oh good, it’s not even 930 and I already get to cry, maybe it’s the clouds, the oppressive presence of so much gathered force and water I woke up from a dream that was … hmm, weird? Uncomfortable? I’ve had a similar kind of dream before. I see a giant ship in the sky, I'm …

Open, a poem

From the heavens, the hope of light, a cascading immersion into healing waters that are not water and are not anything the senses can define it was a trickle, then a filament then a superstitious mind looking to understand the ways of the Divine no divinity can be obscured by labels that are produced from …

Anyways, Monday

I wish I had a person. Or money. In our society, you can get by with not having people if you instead have money. It’s one or the other. It used to be the case that if you had your survival skills and wits, or people, or money, you’d be ok. Maybe some people can …

men are dumb

Multi dimensional being, you only see what you bring to the fleeing haughty maverick on a ride through the mansion many rooms but the coat’s gone gray flaking paint and a ceiling with rust stains they never know the meaning of the old refrains hold fast to your reign I missed the chance to be …

stories, a poem

Where is the relief when all my stories are stacked up against each other they keep coming in even when there is no way to let them out and the life they could bring with them, the absence from all the run of the mill we’ve been milling gets shelved and forgotten clouds roll in …

i hope not

If you didn’t know you could be lied to would you ever turn inward and try to parse out some kind of discernment? If you had no discernment, could you ever have a choice that was truly your own? If you have no choice that is truly your own, and yet some part of you …

Morning thoughts go weird sometimes

My existential crisis has hit new levels. Today I realized that it’s been eight years since the old me died. According to my calculations, I should be a new person by now. And maybe I am. But this new me also can’t stand the way real life seems to operate and try as I might …

to sing

I wish I could sing, wish I had a way with notes and melody maybe I should sing anyways, even if it’s badly there is just so fucking much I have to say and I am weary weary of how little I am able to express these things the content of my life so much …

Banana flavored qualia

I'm having banana flavored sugar free ice cream tonight It's interesting that we can make things that are not the real thing seem like they are That we are so good at tricking our sensory processing to produce an experience that isn't true but good enough! After awhile people get sick of it, I think …

Repairing my wound of discrimination, rejection and the doctor being mean and lazy

Do you think I wasn’t discriminated against and unjustly accused by the doctor refusing to fill out my form? I was. I was treated like absolute garbage over the course of the whole stupid thing. The nurse hung up on me while I was trying to ask a question. I'm sick of thinking about it. …